Self Love and Acceptance – LYRICS

SoundCloud link!

The past is the past we ALL have SOME darkness on THAT shelf… I FULLY LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF.
LIKE ON THE DANCEFLOOR YOU LOVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF…
WE FULLY LOVE AND ACCEPT OURSELVES
Even though I may have done things I judged negatively in the past, I fully love and accept myself.
Even though I may have done things others judged in the past, I fully love and accept myself.
There is no I or separation between others and self,
Or between you and destiny of comfort, love and wealth
Even though I may have done things I judged negatively in the past, I fully love and accept myself.
We can visualize going back in time to send love to our inner child
wrapped in fine Linen, whether crying or grinning…
and giving them compassion, we’re willing
To look at my past perceived losses so we’re winning.
We visualised healing any wounds our inner child perceives
Retroactive healing for any unfulfilled needs.
Wishing on a star? Wish on yourself, that’s what you are.
Mother nature made ya perfect just the way you are.
Wishing on a star? Wish on yourself, that’s what you are.
Mother nature made ya perfect just the way you are.
The past is the past we ALL have SOME darkness on THAT shelf… I FULLY LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF.
LIKE ON THE DANCEFLOOR  YOU  FULLY LOVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF
WE FULLY LOVE AND ACCEPT OURSELVES!

 

The black ooze of stress and frustration you squeeze
and stretch out your shoulders is hiding a few of these

Precious gems and crystals. And when those shoulders are less tight They allow the wings to grow out in the precious rainbow light.

You are the best you that you can be.
But hold your inner child now, cos you’re family.

My inner child crying or growling,
A babe crying or a gremlin gnawing and gnashing.

Crying about not feeling heard, listened to or understood, not a word.

I almost forgot being cool was a facade
Always fragile and sensitive, never been hard.

Am I a loser? Am I a self abuser?
Am I failure? Are we all born to fail here?

If you think you are then you are…
So know you’re not, and know you’re hot.

It’s okay to feel guilty, sad, the lot.
Admit it to yourself and you’re bullet proof but shot.

You are the best you that you can be.
But hold your inner child now, cos you’re family.

The past is the past we ALL have SOME darkness on THAT shelf… I FULLY LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF.
LIKE ON THE DANCEFLOOR YOU FULLY LOVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF…
WE FULLY LOVE AND ACCEPT OURSELVES
Even though I may have done things I judged negatively in the past, I fully love and accept myself.
Even though I may have done things others judged in the past, I fully love and accept myself.

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Forgiveness, Healing and Empathy #forgiveness #healing #empathy #depression #anxiety

“…it’s a shame when you forgive consciously but something in your bones can’t help but try to avoid getting hurt again… ” I wrote that recently.

I wrote this three months ago – “There are times to work and times to rest, like seasons, either are fine and neither are to be judged as wrong or right – they just are.

Our existence is validatation enough, nature wanted us here now, reality itself wanted us here now, the mother nature matrix wanted us all here now, all that we do is an expression of the magic of the universe.

There are 7 billion equal people with different opinions. It avoids seeing that I am as important as any of the people I am trying to please. Constantly living life to please other people will lead to constantly feeling sad that I have let people down. If you are living life to please the right person then living life to please yourself will attract the right people into your life.”

Somehow I feel they’re linked. Perhaps forgiveness could be linked to realising we’re all trying our best based on our own experiences and avoiding different hurts from the past?

 

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Antisocial / Social Anxiety – both or neither? #depression #anxiety

For the record, between epic social events I’ve committed to – particularly one’s I am performing at and therefore committed to attending – I am generally an anti-social bastard. Do not take it personally.

There are several reasons for this, social awkwardness, social anxiety, 15 years of partying, introvert habits I picked up during two years of depression, bitterness that people stopped coming round when I cut down on smoking and stopped hosting smoking sessions, several reasons. But the main one is that I just don’t feel like going out most of the time. Especially if I’ve just expended that kind of energy hosting an event or if I’m preparing myself mentally for the energy to do that sort of thing.

It doesn’t mean I love you guys or gals any less. In fact sometimes it means I love myself less. But it doesn’t mean I’m avoiding any individuals, in fact even during my most party animal sociable years I was in the flow and the amount of time I spent with people was in no way a reflection of how much I loved them, more a reflection of how aligned our missions, projects and interests were that month or that year. So if you liked raving in Bristol from 2005 – 2012 you saw alot of me.

These days I enjoy my own company, I’d much rather stay in. watch documentaries, write and work on building the future I’ve been visualising. Some days I’ve been crippled by fear of judgment and I don’t want to leave the house.

Anyway, two of my friends took it personally recently, so I thought I’d say something public. I been on the same couch in Bristol straight chillin cos after the rave I couldn’t move cos I’m getting old, I missed a party I wanted to go to but walking was too much think about and talking to people seemed scary, especially when the honest answer to “how are you” is “I’m not even sure”.

So yeah, I don’t know if I’m anti-social or suffering social anxiety or if I’m anti-social BECAUSE I’m suffering social anxiety (and right now I’m tired) but whichever it is, it doesn’t mean I have a problem with you.

Essentially it doesn’t matter. Anti-social, social anxiety etc – these are just labels. I’m fine whether or not people take it personally. They’re fine whether or not they take it personally. They’re all different shades of being a human, and as long as we remember that these states are actually okay to be in and these states will change of their own accord the less likely we’re going to get angry or depressed about them and the sooner they’re likely to change. One of the lessons I’m learning is that anger and depression are okay too, it’s just usually advisable to express either in ways that aren’t going to cause more anger or depression.

 

unity consciousness

 

Popularity, Anxiety and ye ol Facebook

Strange times for Mr Sensitive over here. Expect philosophical waffle, it’s been one of those weeks 🙂

IMG_20150818_223425

… so you can have a total of 5000 friends on facebook. I ran out of space for new friends so I changed my personal profile into a page. Now I can have infinite likes instead of limited number of friends. Also I thought I’d use the opportunity to streamline my whole online presence to be more professional and less sentimental. This post is both.

The funny thing is the very aspects of my personality that got me too many fb friends were the things that used  that used to get me bullied and eroded my self esteem. Talking passionately about spirituality and politics and philosophy is now the reason I have 5000 contacts. People at school just told me to stop talking.

I don’t know if I’ll feel more comfortable asking people to like my page than asking them to add me as a friend but I guess it’s better than saying “I can’t add you cos I’ve run out of space for new friends”.  I guess I’ll deal with that anxiety when I come to it.

Self esteem issues would come up again later in my life but the seeds of those issues were planted in my youth. I have mixed feelings about my popularity, I’m embarrassed about enjoying it cos I identify more with being an outsider than being one of the ‘cool kids’. But I do enjoy it.

So I already had a separate music page to my personal page. And I was planning to merge this page with my music page. But currently facebook won’t let me. This annoyed me at first but it may be for the best. You see not all of my fb friends were music fans. I suspect most people, especially the strangers, added me cos I passionately and regularly post positive vibrations, inspirational quotes, happy stories etc. And I’m more than a musician, I’m a workshop coordinator, a scholar of subtle energies, a scholar of Hip-Hop culture, a blog writer, a bard of a Druid order and I’m writing a comic book (an amazing artist has already finished pages).

So this page will be more professional and less sentimental than my personal profile was. But I will still be sharing random inspiration that has nothing to do with me personally if and when it feels right, cos I try to do what feels right. So instead of friend suggesting people you think might like my posts, point them over here and I’ll try not to let you down.

Thanks for joining me on this journey, whether you’re a poetry lover, music lover, acoustic music lover, hip-hopper, dub head, raver, comic book fan or star seed rainbow warrior on the bleeding edge of consciousness evolution (or just want to receive positive vibes from inspiring stories and good news – I have plans to make you very happy.

I will find out from my publisher if I may share sneak previews of my comic book, meanwhile I’ll be performing at Wildheart Festival August 28th -31st  this weekend coming, I’ll be performing at Hazy Daze festival (organised by Happy Daze Bristol) from September 11th and I’ll be compering a breakcore and DnB night (with Raiden!) in Bristol on Halloween.

More on all of the above as we go.

I still feel like I’m on a mission (yet paradoxically with nothing to do and nowhere to go) and I still feel grateful for all of you offering emotional support for Mr Sensitive over here on this mission.

I do actually love you guys.

https://www.facebook.com/KP.KevthePoet?ref=bookmarks

Sometimes I’m Selfish and Greedy (but I’m usually a nice guy.)

Sometimes I’m selfish and greedy. This is the trait I dislike in people the most and the trait I dislike in myself the most, and the trait I am most ashamed of. Apparently I’ll have less anxiety and self-esteem issues if I learn to wear my ‘shame’ until I’m no longer ashamed of it.

It’s the trait I dislike in politicians, I see it mirrored in David Cameron and the Tories in general etc. I see it in the fracking of our land and in the selling of our NHS. I dislike selfishness. I therefore sometimes over-compensate and don’t give myself the things I deserve.

I find all words are insufficient, rather that we have infinite shades of emotions and experiences but we only have a finite amount of words to describe them. I used to refer to myself as lazy then I realised I work really hard and obsessively on things that I love doing and just don’t do things I don’t love doing, so lazy was an insufficient word to describe my relationship with boring work. Give me an hour or two and I may have found better or different words to define the aspects of my self that I currently describe as selfish and greedy.

Due to the fact that I think poverty in the past was influenced by this fear of admitting it I will specify – I want more money. And sex. And sugar, I can be very greedy when it comes to sugar. Despite the fact that I know it’s probably parasites that want the sugar, and it’s very bad for me. I tried to quit sugar, I failed. And meat. Wish I could kick the meat habit again but my mum’s a phenomenal cook and I’m living with her again, but it’s not her fault, it’s not the fault of circumstance – I’m selfish.

I think in my personal story lazy was a judgment put on me that I internalised until years later I analysed it. But selfish is a judgment I put on myself, it’s what upsets me most about other people and it’s because it’s what upsets me most about myself. BUT note I said SOMETIMES I am selfish and greedy, it’s just an aspect of self I’ve been repressing.

(I still think I’m usually selfless and generous cos that’s what makes me happy. There’s an unavoidable paradox in the selfish desire to be of benefit because being of benefit makes us happy. But I usually try to be selfless and generous. But not always. I should not ignore that shadow.)

Edit:

Although I am sometimes selfish and greedy I fully love and accept myself. I am everything, I am also selfless and generous, I am infinite abundance, I am love.

Cry Every Day

From now I don’t quite say that I vow but I try to make

a decision to cry every day, “why would he say to cry every day”?

cos life is just made for feeling, we hide every day instead of revealing,

and when we don’t cry every day we lie every day to ourselves.

Like we’re not gonna die some day, like children don’t die every day,

like every blossom ain’t a perfect work of art but we’re shying away

from tears of joy is what I’m trying to say…

Tears of pain, tears of joy, just like Lamb – I Cry every day.

(inspired in part by this track by ‘Lamb’)

KP vs Mixmag, Vice and Simon Cowell

BRAND NEW MIXTAPE AND A BRAND NEW EP coming to Bandcamp this winter!

http://www.kpkevthepoet.bandcamp.com

So it looks like this winter we’re gonna have two very different KP releases, my EP of mainly self produced acoustic tracks but also a mixtape of me rhyming over banging hip-hop instrumentals I’ll give away for free. I think I have settled on the name Low Fi, High Concept for the EP but I still can’t decide what to call the mixtape now though, currently working title is AWESOME! The Multi-Dimensional Mixtape, but that might be too cheesy? It does need a high-impact title to suit the flavour though and I use the words Awesom and multi-dimensional in conversation alot and the mixtape is multidimensional as the first half is Kev riding hip-hop instrumentals and the second half is Kev riding a psy-dub mix. Yes it is.

Mmmaybe I shouldn’t be shy this year and should submit my new creations for review in places like Mixmag and Vice… but maybe I don’t care what critics think? Do I risk the fear of rejection and/or criticism for the possibility of free promotion and/or critical praise?Well maybe I have already taken the first step in publicly admitting I’m afraid… What’s next X-Factor? Why not? (Because Simon Cowell doesn’t want to hear you rapping about changing the monetary system, singing about buddhism over Psy-Dub or doing Mary Poppins covers in a Hip-Hop stylee even if it would make great television…)