I had a couple of thoughts that came up in conversation an meditation recently that I felt inspired to share.
We learn lessons from the past.
I think it’s natural to be aware of our fears and it’s natural to avoid things that have hurt us in the past. BUT one of the lessons I seem to be getting repeated recently is don’t go too far the other way. Just cos you were in a long term relationship doesn’t mean you have to sleep with everybody, just cos you got hurt doesn’t mean you have to be single forever, or just cos you felt you were over sexual before doesn’t mean you have to be celibate now.
It’s all about balance.
Some of those lessons were about me, but most were observations of how others were reacting to prviopre traumas. We can over-share in order to prevent previous traumas.
My mama always said that when you’re young women want bad boys and by the time they get older they realise they’d prefer nice men. She said it to cheer me up about the girls always going for bad boys which fuelled my later self esteem issues. I think a combination of being too nice, too sweet and too romantic made me less attractive to younger women before. It didn’t help that I had low self esteem and no money! Now my self esteem is higher but still fragile, I’m earning more, and despite being a bit more cynical and aware of my depression and anxiety I think I’m still a nice guy, (we all have our bad moments) and if seems like my mum was right. But I’m not sure what I want now.
I hope that I’m still nice and maintaining balance. From one perspective Balance is a process, never finished. From perhaps a higher perspective balance is a constant, its only our limited perception that sees the need for change.
I wanted to help humanity find balance, now I want to help other sensitive, hero complex having light workers like myself see that balance is always there and if we balance within we will see balance outside.
Everything is okay. “Nothing is wrong, everything is permitted.”
We all walk unique paths. Celibacy, polyamoury, monogamy or label-less intuitive adapting to how you feel in the moment – its all your own your path to do with as you will. Just try to avoid extremism. (And try to be honest with yourself and others to avoid pain for self or others.)
Everything in moderation, including moderation.
Even if a path leads to death it may lead to a happier reincarnation. Indeed, it’s all good in the hood. At least it’s all good in my pixie-hood.