Opium Production in Afghanistan Hits Record High

So the Taliban halted opium production and the U.S. invasion started it up again… “in 2001, the Taliban banned poppy, citing Islamic prohibition against drugs, and wiped out 99 percent of the country’s production of the crop. The prohibition caused near economic ruin in rural areas…after the September 11 attacks, when the U.S. drove the Taliban from power. In 2002, farmers took advantage of the power vacuum following the U.S. invasion and returned to planting poppy as a cash crop.” The U.S. invasion of Afghanistan is largely responsible for smack on your streets. This is not Alex Jones, this is not Before It’s News, this is TIME Magazine…


Opium poppy cultivation in Afghanistan rose to a new high of more than 200,000 hectares in 2013, a 36% increase over last year, the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime said Wednesday. The report, part of the agency’s annual survey, indicates a grave trend for the country as U.S. and NATO forces withdraw over the next year.

The 2013 figure represents the highest total cultivation ever for Afghanistan, surpassing the previous peak of 193,000 hectares in 2007. Total opium production reached roughly 5,500 tons, an increase of 49 percent since 2012. Opium prices fell slightly, but according to the report, the farm-gate value–the price of a crop when the farmer sells it–increased by almost a third. Nearly $1 billion of raw opium came out of Afghanistan last year, accounting for 4% of the country’s GDP.

For most of the last twenty years, Afghanistan has been the world’s largest opium producer…

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When Women are as Confusing as Men – what do we really want?

Reblogging this cos it reflects my experience but it was writen by a woman so I can’t be accused of being sexist for experiencing the same! I have had my heart repeatedly dragged through the mud for making the mistake of thinking that when women tell me what they want they meant it. They did not. Being sweet is a turn off, looking lovingly into my eyes while holding my hand does not mean they fancy me, romance is what they want but not too much too soon and they’re more afraid of commitment than I ever was. I’m just gonna be myself and see what happens but to be fair I don’t think it’s women who don’t know what they want or men. I think we’re all changing all the bloody time and none of us know if what we want today is what we’ll want tomorrow or if who we want today is who we’ll want tomorrow, we’re all just guessing… We are all confused, and we are all confusing.

Little Miss Mummy

I had some of my single girlfriends over the other evening and, as usual, a fair bit of our conversation was spent analysing men.  After they had gone I was struck by our conversation and realised – maybe it’s not the men who are confusing, maybe it’s us?

For the last month or so this group of women had all pretty much agreed on what they wanted: some are definitely ready for a relationship and those who aren’t, however, don’t just want a ‘friends with benefits’ episode and are sick to death of the serial ‘commitment phobe’ – instead, they just wanted someone to hang out with regularly (either on their own or with the whole gang), go for dinner with occasionally and generally have fun.

The other basic requirements don’t seem like too much of an ask: someone intelligent (though finding someone in this town with enough brain cells…

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Soul mates, twin flames, Disney and pornography.

Soul mates, twin flames, Disney and pornography.

Have our expectations regarding our love lives been programmed by Disney movies when we were children? Have our expectations regarding our sex lives been programmed by porn?

Been chatting bout soul mates, twin flames, destiny, Disney movies (and their possible responsibility for people thinking that soul mates exist) and such like in various threads on Facebook quite randomly this week.

On twin-flames / soul mates – whether twin flames or soul mates exist logic dictates that if you are following your path and/or following your bliss and doing what makes you and others happy you will attract them while you are doing what you are meant to be doing. So don’t look for your soul mate or twin flame, just do what makes you and others happy and if they’re the right person that is what will attract them. And if soul mates and twin flames don’t exist at least you’ll be doing what you love.

…Jealousy is real, but I don’t know its source. I’m tempted to watch a bunch of Disney cartoons and examine whether my quest for a soul mate was a delusion created by Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and The Jungle Book…

On Relationships – time changes everything, maybe some people are destined to inspire and/or help each other more and more but the faster things change the less likely two people are going to be in a space where it continues to be mutually beneficial to hang out with each other and/or have sex with each other indefinitely. This is complicated by the addition of having a child together or the seemingly completely natural phenomenon of jealousy. Whether the future of relationships is lots of short relationships or open relationships is yet to be seen, I have witnessed issues with both of those solutions. But I do believe we have to take responsibility for our own happiness, however the better we are at that the better we become at helping guide other people to their own happiness including our partners whether they be permanent or temporary. I do not know if my perception of a missing soul mate was intuitive or planted by media, I currently have an objective view on the subject and no conclusions. Reflections would be appreciated.

On porn – most porn is made by men for men and is definitely a bit too on the male aggression vibe (at least for me). But I also had an ex ask me to be more aggressive in bed so that is also a taste thing (I assure you that most of my partners are not into weird stuff, and I was not comfortable with being more aggressive.) I think there is definitely room for different tastes though and some people are just different. Not every submissive or dominatrix is going to be programmed by porn, some people are just different. Literally different strokes for different folks.

PS just cos Crowley and his colleagues were into it doesn’t make everyone that has partaken in anal a Satanist (obviously). But I concede the exes that wanted anal may have been convinced by ex boyfriends or porn into thinking all men want to.

EDIT: Also, some women just like anal. But porn is more than likely affecting our perception of sex on the whole. Since I first wrote this I have spoken to a surprising number of men who are interested in spirituality and this sensitivity coupled with an awareness of the domination of the patriarchy over the sacred feminine or merely a sensitivity to the dominant nature of most porn and have tried to stop watching porn and discovered that it is an addiction. Once you are aware of karma it is hard not to question the karmic consequences of watching porn, which may depend on the type of porn and even the history and intentions of the people performing in each individual video. Should spiritual men feel guilty for watching porn? Guilt is rarely a positive thing if ever, but should that guilt be avoided by not indulging rather than transcended once you’ve indulged? I do not hve an answer to that question yet. Do you?


Trials of Initiation – Rudolf Steiner (extracts from ‘Knowledge of Higher Worlds’)

“Indeed, the more often the attention be fixed alternately upon something growing, blossoming and flourishing, and upon something else that is fading and decaying, the more vivid will these feelings become. And just as the eyes and ears of the physical body are built by natural forces out of living matter, so will the organs of clairvoyance build themselves out of the feelings and thoughts thus evoked. A quite definite form of feeling is connected with growth and expansion, and another equally definite with all that is fading and decaying. But this is only the case if the effort be made to cultivate these feelings in the way indicated. It is possible to describe approximately what these feelings are like. A full conception of them is within the reach of all who undergo these inner experiences.” Rudolf Steiner, from ‘Knowledge of the Higher Worlds’



As a rule, the would-be initiate proceeds to learn how the objects of nature and the beings gifted with life manifest themselves to the spiritual ear and the spiritual eye. In a certain way these things then lie stripped — naked — before the beholder. The qualities which can then be seen and heard are hidden from the physical eyes and ears. For physical perception they are concealed as if by a veil, and the falling away of this veil for the would-be initiate consists in a process designated as the process of Purification by Fire. The first trial is therefore known as the Fire-Trial.

For many people, ordinary life is itself a more or less unconscious process of initiation through the Fire-Trial. Such people have passed through a wealth of experience, so that their self-confidence, courage and fortitude have been greatly strengthened in a normal manner while learning to bear sorrow, disappointment and failure in their undertakings with greatness of soul, and especially with equanimity and unbroken strength. Thus they are often initiates without knowing it, and it then needs but little to unseal their spiritual hearing and sight so that they become clairvoyant. For it must be noted that a genuine fire-trial is not intended to satisfy the curiosity of the candidate. It is true that he learns many uncommon things of which others can have no inkling, but this acquisition of knowledge is not the end, but the means to the end; the end consists in the attainment, thanks to this knowledge of the higher worlds, of greater and truer self-confidence, a higher degree of courage, and a magnanimity and perseverance such as cannot, as a rule, be acquired in the lower world.

The candidate may always turn back after the fire-trial. He will then resume his life, strengthened in body and soul, and wait for a future incarnation to continue his initiation. In his present incarnation he will prove himself a more useful member of society and of humanity than he was before. In whatever position he may find himself, his firmness, prudence, resoluteness, and his beneficent influence over his fellows will have greatly increased.

But if, after completing the fire-trial, he should wish to continue the path, a certain writing-system generally adopted in esoteric training must now be revealed to him…

The success can be recognized in the alteration produced by his action in the figures, colors, and tones apprehended by his spiritual eyes and ears. Exact indications are given, as the training progresses, showing how these figures appear and are experienced after the action has been performed, and the candidate must know how to produce this change. This trial is known as the Water-Trial, because in his activity in these higher worlds the candidate is deprived of the support derived from outward circumstances, as a swimmer is without support when swimming in water that is beyond his depth. This activity must be repeated until the candidate attains absolute poise and assurance.

The importance of this trial lies again in the acquisition of a quality. Through his experiences in the higher worlds, the candidate develops this quality in a short time to such a high degree that he would otherwise have to go through many incarnations, in the ordinary course of his development, before he could acquire it to the same extent….

Further progress is now only possible if he is able to distinguish illusion, superstition, and everything fantastic, from true reality. This is, at first, more difficult to accomplish in the higher stages of existence than in the lower. Every prejudice, every cherished opinion with regard to the things in question, must vanish; truth alone must guide. There must be perfect readiness to abandon at once any idea, opinion, or inclination when logical thought demands it. Certainty in higher worlds is only likely to be attained when personal opinion is never considered.

People whose mode of thought tends to fancifulness and superstition can never make progress on the path to higher knowledge. It is indeed a precious treasure that the student is to acquire. All doubt regarding the higher worlds is removed from him. With all their laws they reveal themselves to his gaze. But he cannot acquire this treasure so long as he is the prey of fancies and illusions. It would indeed be fatal if his imagination and his prejudices ran away with his intellect. Dreamers and fantastical people are as unfit for the path to higher knowledge as superstitious people. This cannot be over-emphasized. For the most dangerous enemies on the way to knowledge of the higher worlds lurk in such fantastical reveries and superstitions. Yet no one need to believe that the student loses all sense of poetry in life, all power of enthusiasm because the words: You must be rid of all prejudice, are written over the portal leading to the second trial of initiation, and because over the portal at the entrance to the first trial he read: Without normal common sense all thine efforts are in vain...

If the candidate is in this way sufficiently advanced, a third trial awaits him. He finds here no definite goal to be reached. All is left in his own hands. He finds himself in a situation where nothing impels him to act. He must find his way all alone and out of himself. Things or people to stimulate him to action are non-existent. Nothing and nobody can give him the strength he needs but he himself alone. Failure to find this inner strength will leave him standing where he was. Few of those, however, who have successfully passed the previous trials will fail to find the necessary strength at this point. Either they will have turned back already or they succeed at this point also. All that the candidate requires is the ability to come quickly to terms with himself, for he must here find his higher self in the truest sense of the word. He must rapidly decide in all things to listen to the inspiration of the spirit. There is no time for doubt or hesitation. Every moment of hesitation would prove that he was still unfit. Whatever prevents him from listening to the voice of the spirit must be courageously overcome. It is a question of showing presence of mind in this situation, and the training at this stage is concerned with the perfect development of this quality. All the accustomed inducements to act or even to think now cease. In order not to remain inactive he must not lose himself, for only within himself can he find the one central point of vantage where he can gain a firm hold. No one on reading this, without further acquaintance with these matters, should feel an antipathy for this principle of being thrown back on oneself, for success in this trial brings with it a moment of supreme happiness.

At this stage, no less than at the others, ordinary life is itself an esoteric training for many.

At this stage, no less than at the others, ordinary life is itself an esoteric training for many. For anyone having reached the point of being able, when suddenly confronted with some task or problem in life, to come to a swift decision without hesitation or delay, for him life itself has been a training in this sense. Such situations are here meant in which success is instantly lost if action is not rapid. A person who is quick to act when a misfortune is imminent, whereas a few moments of hesitation would have seen the misfortune an accomplished fact, and who has turned this ability into a permanent personal quality, has unconsciously acquired the degree of maturity necessary for the third trial. For at this stage everything centers round the development of absolute presence of mind. This trial is known as the Air-Trial, because while undergoing it the candidate can support himself neither upon the firm basis of external incentive nor upon the figures, tones, and colors which he has learned at the stages of preparationand enlightenment, but exclusively upon himself.

Upon successfully passing this trial the student is permitted to enter the temple of higher wisdom. All that is here said on this subject can only be the slenderest allusion.” Rudolf Steiner, from ‘Knowledge of Higher Worlds’


…just found this from 2011 by ‘accident’…

Empowering the ‘positive timeline’. Some big things are gonna have to change but all the solutions we need and more have always been there and as information spreads farther faster the multiple uses of hemp, Mycology, the numerous free energy devices that will make oil and combustion engines obsolete and the truth that successive governments worldwide have suppressed information for personal financial gain – all this is becoming common knowledge. Most importantly to me the common sense of love being held as a serious political platform ie the emotional, physical and financial benefit of the many really and truly actually being valued rather than just the financial benefit of the few. This is inevitable simply because anything else seems really really stupid. Before the internet I could imagine people being too lazy to work out what’s going on, but as the truth is all over Wikipedia, YouTube, the occupy movement and getting sent to inboxes and fb walls the problems are obvious, the solutions apparent and they will be implemented as people with the right skills show initiative. There may be a transition period where people live in ‘free man’ communities and ignore the absurd laws against growing medicines or permits for free energy engines and building permits but as mainstream culture eats itself and the old financial paradigm collapses these alternative communities will become the new mainstream and the absurd laws will become as obsolete as the old financial system as the people who used to enforce that nonsense will have all moved to sustainable communities. Because those are the places with electricity and food that doesn’t kill you. Love was always the answer, the time was always now. I’m not just optimistic, I’m impatient. Humans have been acting stupid for long enough.


Relax little caterpillar – Nothing is under control (prose)

It’s as if I can’t get naked enough for this heat and humidity tonight. Duvet yer too thick. Water is not wet enough. Can’t study, can’t think. Stop thinking. Relax. Grateful for this moment. Too hot, too humid, too many things on my mind, still smiling.
I am a tornado on fire in a box that is melting. I am Goku’s hair. I am the people’s elbow. I am Dante’s Inferno, I am Macbeth’s meeting with the witches, I am Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s 2 by 4, I am Spawn’s cape, I am Cruella Deville’s miserable childhood, I am Wolverine’s adamantium cocyx. I am using obscure references that alienate other poets again. I am a caterpillar. Again. I am hitting the reset button. Again.
I am the day before the night that changed your life.

I am amazed yet unphased. I am writing more prose these days.
I am waste, I am a loser, I am success, I am divine.
I am aware that poetry doesn’t have to rhyme.

I am changing. As always.

I am the liquid mess that will re-emerge with wings. I used to be a caterpillar.

xxx xxxxx xxxxxxxx

Undeniable feeling of inevitable immensity. Something huge round the corner? Is it personal or universal? I guess either way it’s just perspective, something big is always happening, we’re on a beautiful watery rock spiralling through space round a big ball of fire that’s also rocketing through space. But within the illusion of time and space and the illusion of ‘I’ it feels relatively accurate to say that I have an undeniable feeling of inevitable immensity…

xxx xxxxx xxxxxxxx

I have not lived with uncertainty for a while. I was a pro at it, especially between 2006 and 2012, couch-surfing, squatting, travelling, rainforests, basements, livingrooms, other peoples caravans and other peoples vans. And taking risks has generally paid off, I usually land on my feet through the sheer act of cultivating good relationships with good people. Couple of years of domesticated behaviour and uncertainty seems scary again. Which is kind of ludicrous really, cos in reality uncertainty is all we ever have.

Could be hit by a meteor tomorrow. Could win the lottery.

Yet when uncertainty becomes obvious it seems scary. Maybe it’s a biological imperative, an evolutionary leftover, to fear uncertainty or be left with no shelter to fend off the wolves. Stability is desirable. But danger is sexy. So that’s just another
inconclusive story.

I feel like my soul is bursting out of it’s skin. That’s less terrifying or psychedelic than it sounds, it’s similar to that feeling when you’re bursting to express a new and unformulated idea but need to communicate it clearly rather than scream it quickly cos you’re excited about it. It seems like it would be difficult to relax, but it’s not. Yes, I could easily label this feeling as merely ‘stressed’. Someone else might also add ‘and confused’. But I’m not confused, I know exactly how I feel, I just don’t think they have invented enough words to describe the infinite shades of emotions and although one might call it call it stressed that would imply that I’m not alright with it. I am. I can still relax.

Maybe I want to know what happens if my soul bursts out of it’s skin.

I am not a buddhist monk in the lotus flower of nirvana, there are times when I am not alright with being stressed. Perhaps they have not invented enough words to describe the infinite shades of emotions but perhaps the combinations when one reads between the lines the holy texts which concern the space between physical matter, the unseen, that which is seen by all and none, the understood but not comprehended, the inconceivable yet inevitable, a saucer flying across a kitchen thrown in a fit of rage juxtaposed with a cuddle in purple duvet, the morning dew drop on a blade of grass juxtaposed with the evening blood drop on a blade of steel, a love unconditional, under-appreciated selfless love that sought no appreciation. Bittersweet organic lemon and forest honey tea bitter sweet. Horrifically perfect beautiful imperfections.

There is an aspect of my soul waiting to hatch. Bursting out. Spreading wings. Ever the constant caterpillar, heavy rotation to the larval stage.

Is it the uncertainty? Is it the storm? Is it strange? Is it the norm?
Is it universal? Is it personal? Is it intuition? Or is it just the storm?

ps More hugs, cuddles and massages please universe. Thank you! x


Feminism, Patriarchy and magazines


You see we’re all so perfect we have to invent new ways to pretend we need saving from ourselves. We’re so perfect yet so messed up we need to define the words we’re using before we start arguing about them. I used to consider myself a feminist. Simply put – I still think women deserve equality and don’t have it but I also think people get attached to words like ‘feminist’ and the word means different things to different people. I mean, really it is mainly men selling us these magazines and they use our insecurities against us to sell us things. I think women are equal, deserve equal pay and respect yet in this day and age women still get paid less. We do live in a patriarchal (male dominated) society from the Church to the board-room. You can argue with any point of view but that one is more difficult to argue with than most.
But men are messed up by this too. The same patriarchal society that tells women to shave their legs, the same magazines that tease celebrities who put on weight etc they tell men that we’re not good enough too. No, it is not as bad for men, it is far worse for women. But unfortunately one of the stereotypical gender bias’ is the idea that men do not want to talk about emotions. So you will never know how many men are depressed because they don’t live up to what a man should be because it’s culturally unacceptable for men to talk about their emotions. That pisses me the f- off.
GQ just declared Kim Kardashian woman of the year or something, telling our daughters and nieces that filming yourself having sex with celebrities is a viable way to the top. They are just trying to be of benefit to themselves and their loved ones, they believe sex sells. But is that of benefit to us all? Is criticising them of benefit? Maybe, but only if it’s constructive criticism so I deleted the sarcasm and I add this – try selling empowerment. People like to feel empowered.
I repeat, it is mainly men selling us these magazines and they use our insecurities against us to sell us things. I love Vice but even mags like Vice tear apart alternative views and alternative living like it’s cool to be a robot slave and they oten extend the Hackney trendy stereotype to things as harmless as having drinks in the park with your friends, like throwing a frisbee in a park or sitting in a circle automatically makes you a d1ck. Shall we stay at home or should we sit in a square and make sure we’re wearing the right brand shirt then?

There is a prevalent image that men are supposed to shag anything that moves and women are supposed to move for us. Leading to a corrupt and hypocritical culture that makes men feel like losers if they’re not having sex with 20 women per week, tells women to wear shorter skirts younger, but watch your drink cos these insecure men who have been told to have no morals might do something amoral to have sex with you then blame it on your skirt rather than their insecurity. From that perspective it’s just a sick culture. But from a another perspective it’s all perfect, gender related stereotypes are getting challenged more every day, a year or two ago I would not have tried to express these feelings for fear of being misunderstood.

Patriarchy? Yeah, you could call it that. Data? Yeah, you could call it that too. Truth? Maybe, but what is truth beyond an opinion you agree with? I resonate with this opinion. And I need to sleep so I’ma stop writing now and work out whether or not it makes any sense when I wake up and read the comments / smell the coffee x