All Good In the Pixie Hood – Love lessons, balance and wisdom

I had a couple of thoughts that came up in conversation an meditation recently that I felt inspired to share.

We learn lessons from the past.
I think it’s natural to be aware of our fears and it’s natural to avoid things that have hurt us in the past. BUT one of the lessons I seem to be getting repeated recently is don’t go too far the other way. Just cos you were in a long term relationship doesn’t mean you have to sleep with everybody, just cos you got hurt doesn’t mean you have to be single forever, or just cos you felt you were over sexual before doesn’t mean you have to be celibate now.
It’s all about balance.

Some of those lessons were about me, but most were observations of how others were reacting to prviopre traumas. We can over-share in order to prevent previous traumas.

My mama always said that when you’re young women want bad boys and by the time they get older they realise they’d prefer nice men. She said it to cheer me up about the girls always going for bad boys which fuelled my later self esteem issues. I think a combination of being too nice, too sweet and too romantic made me less attractive to younger women before. It didn’t help that I had low self esteem and no money! Now my self esteem is higher but still fragile, I’m earning more, and despite being a bit more cynical and aware of my depression and anxiety I think I’m still a nice guy, (we all have our bad moments) and if seems like my mum was right. But I’m not sure what I want now.
I hope that I’m still nice and maintaining balance. From one perspective Balance is a process, never finished. From perhaps a higher perspective balance is a constant, its only our limited perception that sees the need for change.

I wanted to help humanity find balance, now I want to help other sensitive, hero complex having light workers like myself see that balance is always there and if we balance within we will see balance outside.

Everything is okay. “Nothing is wrong, everything is permitted.”
We all walk unique paths. Celibacy, polyamoury, monogamy or label-less  intuitive adapting to how you feel in the moment – its all your own your path to do with as you will. Just try to avoid extremism. (And try to be honest with yourself and others to avoid pain for self or others.)

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

Even if a path leads to death it may lead to a happier reincarnation. Indeed, it’s all good in the hood. At least it’s all good in my pixie-hood.

 

 

 

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The Blame Game

Essentially we are power born, it may sometimes feel like we have no control what life throws at us (although some would argue that we attract the mirrors we experience and others would argue that between lifetimes we asked for all the lessons we get – both of those stories just hurt more when life seems painful and unfair), but what we do have control over is how we react to what life throws at us. We can not control how other people will act but we can choose how to react. But that doesn’t mean we should hold back from telling someone how we feel or when they have acted insensitively or selfishly. It just means that we take responsibility for how we act when they do and we take responsibility for how long we put up with it.I am choosing to feel how I feel and I give up the right to try and force that person to admit that they made me feel like that. They didn’t. I allowed myself to feel like that.

Some of my friends simply said I didn’t have a victim complex, I was just a victim. I was a victim of cheating and bullying. But if I was a victim it was still my choice to feel how I felt and it was still my choice to try and make it work rather than walk away. And if I am depressed now that is my choice to react like that. I choose not to, I am not depressed, I am infinite open ended power, as one with universal consciousness we are all born that way and we will be forever. Lesson learned. Forgive others – but don’t deny your anger or sadness. Love yourself – including your ‘dark’ side; your anger and sadness. Don’t run from your shadow, don’t bury your shadow but don’t indulge in it either.

Be compassionate with other people, but be compassionate with yourself.We can only be responsible for ourselves. F the BS, just be for the benefit.

Do I still feel depressed? No. I feel mighty, shining and sexy as fuck. Yeah, that arrogance may be part of my shadow… but I love it :-p Love yourself, including your shadow.

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feeling sexy…

Screenshot from 2015-02-12 14:23:29

…feeling surrounded by burlesque babes kinda sexy…

sax n hoop

…feeling happy on my own hula hooping saxophone sexy…

create reality

Co-creating reality…

Screenshot from 2015-02-09 02:56:29

Feeling happy co-creating a bikini babes by the waterfall reality… 😉

F the BS and feeling sorry for myself, I opt for co-creating a reality in the sunshine surrounded by nature

(preferably with emotionally evolved rainbow-pixies by a waterfall blessed with abundance and love…)

Some people deserve to share the dream with me.

But some people may no longer deserve my company when I’m feeling mighty, shining and sexy again…

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