LYRICS! KP Kev the Poet, the Wishing Well sessions, Winter 2016

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GETTIN DOWN

(produced by Chemical Problem

Just gettin down…

Just gettin down…

Just gettin down…

 to get up!….

Sometimes you got to get down

…to get up!

Sometimes you got to get down

…to get up!

I might sit down…

I might get down…

but that won’t mean I’ve given up!

I might have me some me time…

But in the mean time…

I’m visualisin’ gettin up!

____

VERSE 1

Just gettin down to get up, lit it up, Hit the switch

lluminated the environment with lighting, now you’re enlightened.

Got inspiration from Bristol to Tasmania, Small World to Ozora (temporary Zions)

Shamballah to Boom Town, From London to Brighton,

From the Magpie to the Upper Florentine to Chi Wholefoods with Rainbo Lion

and from Matter to the Hive dons switched my mics on.

From supporting Chester P in Passing Clouds to Congo Natty in Lakota,

Zion Train in Trinity, I’m not sure which was doper.

Or performing in Stonehenge as a Bard among the Druids,

I kept it real, and kept it Hip-Hop with a reggae flow that’s fluid.

But when depression set in I didn’t feel like reppin

I kept indoors to release… the pain and the stressin

It’s all exalted, the curse was a blessin

time to write and time to heal, and I’ll come back with brand new weapons

the pen is mightier than the sword, and still ain’t no half steppin,

I’m full steppin to steppers dub with all my synchro bredrin!

__

CHORUS

Just gettin down…

Just gettin down…

Just gettin down…

 to get up!….

Sometimes you got to get down

…to get up!

Sometimes you got to get down

…to get up!

I might sit down…

I might get down…

but that won’t mean I’ve given up!

I might have me some me time…

But in the mean time…

I’m visualisin’ gettin up!

Just gettin down

Just gettin down

Just gettin down

 to get up!…. x2

Just because you aren’t making progress as fast as you think you should does not mean you’re not making progress. Keep going! Relax, but keep going. And shine.


 

Planet Earth

CHORUS

Planet Earth, …concrete on damaged turf

Where mans have burst… dams n worse for a fatter purse

Mother Earth… concrete on honoured turf…

I kiss the rose quartz on her alter… for her worth. x2

__

Standing Rock… hard… like an obelisk

I fell in the cauldron as a baby like Taliesin and Obelix

I boil pots of healing herbs, algae and plants  like Getafix

If you need chlorella, neem, or CBD see me to get a fix.

Prescipicise of global warming on the edge of mass flooding

Guess ya wish politicians and energy companies were less money grubbing

Earth goes through her cycles, Earth will be fine,

but is this humanity’s time to go… or time to shine?

Let’s change it all, we don’t need these chains at all, do they use their brains at all?

It’s unsustainable… if it’s not sustainable…

Sharing is caring, whatever’s available giving,

solar panels, car batteries, crops… Sustainable living.

Maybe we need to reassess priorities and pollution’s the penalty,

living in babylon… and music’s the remedy,

Babylons just a state of mind… and music’s the therapy…. maybe it’s high time for renewable energy.

____

CHORUS

Planet Earth, …concrete on damaged turf

Where mans have burst… dams n worse for a fatter purse

Mother Earth… concrete on honoured turf…

I kiss the rose quartz on her alter… for her worth. x 2

OUTRO

Let’s change it all, we don’t need these chains at all, do they use their brains at all?

It’s unsustainable if it’s not sustainable.

Sharing is caring, whatever’s available giving, solar panels, car batteries, crops, Sustainable living.

Maybe we need to reassess priorities and pollution’s the penalty, living in babylon and music’s the remedy,

Babylons just a state of mind and music’s the therapy, maybe it’s high time for renewable energy.

On planet Earth, …concrete on damaged turf

Where mans have burst… dams n worse for a fatter purse

Mother Earth… concrete on honoured turf…

I kiss the rose quartz on her alter… for her worth.


 

Sweet Ting

VERSE 1:

Sweet Ting,  the epicentre of each other’s comfort zones,

ignoring the vibrations from our mobile phones,

when we’ve got to get up for work, missions or roam,

its hard, it’s oh so hard for me to leave the girl alone.

It’s difficult leaving her, I believe in her.

She’s a sweet ting like Stevia.

Reading up on Dzogchen buddha, cooking up the healthy food, huh?

She’s a sweet ting like coconut sugar,

she’s wise, full of good info and the best advice,

her wisdom’s a good addition to anyone’s life

She’s compassionate with X amount of empathy,

I’m so lucky to share with this angel Heaven sent to me.

___

CHORUS:

her smile is the sweetest ting in the world. I’m so unbelievably lucky my sweet tings this girl.

Her hug is the sweetest ting in the world…I’m so unbelievably lucky my sweet tings this girl.

Her kiss is the sweetest ting in the world. I’m so unbelievably lucky my sweet tings this girl.

Her love is…the sweetest ting  in the world. I’m so unbelievably lucky my sweet tings this girl.

___

outro?:

We walk through the orchard of delight

holding hands n picking apples for an apple pipe.

Her eyes are blue with gold… just like

…two circles of labradorite…

 

(Dungeons and Dragons)

electric blue illumination of clouds, wondering aloud, …and standing proud,

honest communication leads to open heart relation, …empathy over retaliation.

Competition’s not better than collaboration,

more beneficial than nationalism’s seeing just one nation

love expressed through the subtlest of gestures…

open-ended benefit, I’m existing for her pleasure.

open-ended benefit, open hearted,

open minded, not hard to find its always there,

it’s not something we find but something we remember,

remembering to remember with a tribe that’s tender as fierce,

yin energy receives but yang pierces,

weird it’s unfamiliar but at the same time home,

between each breath’s where the spirit guides roam… stop…. Pause. (16)

Breathe…

believe in yourself, admit your fears,

now your braver than you were, see what a love warrior shares

is not the spoils of killing but stories of will and willing

to love and learn, and build bridges we once chose to burn.

Like the saying, “anger is sadness’ bodyguard”.

Let go of the anger, let down your guard.

Don’t try and be soft just be…

Just be… don’t try and be hard. (8)


WISHING WELL

INTRO

om lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu,

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration

I appreciate appreciation, and honest communication…

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration

___

VERSE 1

I wish for everyone to feel relaxed, like just after you’ve climaxed,

been paid cash, or told they mind even less than you that you’re unwaxed!

Relaxed, free from tension or anxiety..

Like you found the comfiest reclining seat in your ideal library.

I wish for everyone to feel Confidence, self-confidence, not unconfident

, you’re all part of father science and mother nature –  that’s common sense.

I wish for everyone to feel content like resting on a beach somewhere sunny

or a pile of their own money, abundance is freedom sonny.

I wish for everyone to feel they’re manifesting abundance with ease,

happy to work in bliss and joy, with synchronicities.

I wish for everyone to feel secure – securities, not insecurities!

But secure in uncertainties, deep rooted like oak trees.

I wish for everyone to feel shining like the single sun.

I wish for everyone to feel connected like Earth to everyone.

I appreciate appreciation, and honest communication…

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration.

CHORUS

I’m thankful and grateful for relaxation, self love,

abundance, and blessings from mother earth below and father sky above.

I’m thankful and grateful for love, confidence – even gratitude,

freedom, comfort, security and a positive attitude! x2

om lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu,

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration.

I appreciate appreciation, and honest communication…

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration.

___

VERSE 2

I wish for everyone to feel the Love, sufi winged heart of an eagle or dove,

rise in love like a bird, no need to fall like a shove,

I wish for everyone to feel affection, the strongest bond, yes, the fondness the;

admiration, appreciation, sympathy, empathy, honesty.

I wish for everyone to feel gratitude, for being and seeing,

the gratitude for witnessing mother nature, and believing

Gratitude will increase the amplitude of attraction to what your feeling

to your longitude and latitude, increasing your being.

_

I wish for everyone to feel freedom, spread wings, you’ll need em!

They’ll say “what a fine specimen -let’s feed him and breed him!”

I wish for everyone to feel free,to do what their soul needs,

what inspires their hearts, and to feast on what their soul feeds.

I wish for everyone to feel comfort, whether or not you feel some hurt,

to feel loved, nurtured, and supported through shadow or sun work.

I appreciate appreciation, and honest communication…

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration.

_

CHORUS

I’m thankful and grateful for relaxation, self love,

abundance, and blessings from mother earth below an father sky above.

I’m thankful and grateful for love, confidence – even gratitude!

freedom, comfort, security and a positive attitude! x2

om lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu,

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration.

I appreciate appreciation, and honest communication…

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration.


 

Ninjas vs Wizards… (edited)

It’s like wizards versus agents, ninjas vs angels,

yeah wizards and angels vs ninjas and agents,

ninjas vs wizards x4

It’s a little bit ridiculous isn’t it,… but from my perspective it’s just the way it is.

Wizards vs ninjas. Ninjas vs wizards. X2

MI5 and CIA’s agents and mercenary ninjas

overseas with an economic hitman’s hit list.

There’s no need to hide my face, look they’ve already seen my facebook,

we profiled ourselves in the empire’s database. Oops.

But Matrix agents and ninjas could never beat noble wizards,

who choose not to fight or compete – they’re just snowflakes in my blizzards.

Angels vs agents, ninjas vs wizards,

and in a way it’s racist if we blame it all on lizards..

We were never krusties, we were Rebel Alliance, ignorance blinds us to US and UKs Evil Empires, stealing oil, splitting atoms, abusing Jedi science, but the sins of our politicians never defined us.

Now I’m more like bendu, I see the illusion of light and dark, it’s all exalted benefit and I’m just playing my part. Is that light, good, positive? It’s all love from the start, so I laugh at nations and corporations while waving my staff.

like Darth Vader on E, or james bond, he’s

more like that Alchemist double o seven John Dee

but not at her majesty’s secret service unless her majesty’s mother earth it’s the rapper with the deep poems or poet with rap verses.

It’s like wizards versus agents, evil ninjas vs angels, yeah wizards and angels vs ninjas and agents,

ninjas vs wizards x4

It’s a little bit ridiculous isn’t it,.. but from ny perspective it’s just the way it is.

Wizards vs ninjas. Ninjas vs wizards. X2

BUt it’s the illusion of division, like war between religions… My ego saw separation where there isn’t… Everything is one and that’s a given… It’s your reflection you’ve forgiven… You’ve got what you need so look within.

I’m one with the Lord, and the Lord is with me

I’m one with the Goddess, and the Goddess is with me

I’m one with the Tao, and the Tao is with me

I’m one with the quantum force, and the force is with me…

 


BLISS + JOY = NOW

I’m the master of time and space…

I ‘m the joker, the King, the Queen and the ACE.

I’m abundance for freedom and power,

I’m bliss plus joy equals now is the hour.

I’m a Melchizedek advising kings, king of peace

I’m Elijah mocking spiritually impotent priests,

“you have no power over me” – ‘Labrynth’ –

I’m like David Bowies codpiece,

that means I’m the centre of attention, the centre of the bindu point z/ero point energy where peace releases tension.

I’m the master of time and space, one love intervention,

agent of good karma and good angels are my henchmen.

I am the master of time and space…

I am the joker, the King, the Queen and the ACE.

I am abundance for freedom and power,

I am bliss plus joy equals now is the hour.

___

Super Kev with the money and the funding,

the freedom, power and abundance to invest in some things

positive, to spread love and wisdom to the community.

My super power’s increasing love and unity.

You wanna learn the skill? Chill, the workshop’s sold out.

I’ll put you on the waiting list, I got you, no doubt.

My super speed n super strength leaves my push bike worn out,

and lovers passed out on cloud 9 like “ah wow”.

My super hero mansion fosters love and community

Altruistic philanthropist with tree-houses between two trees.

Ewok village, some of the workshops in yurts shock

visitors to the love lodge not ready for nudity.

Psychedelic decor, it looks like Ozora

Meets Wayne Mansion, meets Cirque de Soleil on tour, huh?

Children teaching adults Bible, Koran and Torah

Taught to respect all cultures, know their rights and the laws, huh?

____

I’m the master of time and space…

I’m the joker, the King, the Queen and the ACE.

I’m abundance for freedom and power,

I’m bliss plus joy equals now is the hour.

I’m a Melchizedek advising kings, king of peace

I’m Elijah mocking spiritually impotent priests,

“you have no power over me” – ‘Labrynth’ –

I’m like David Bowies codpiece,

that means I’m the centre of attention, the centre of the bindu point z/ero point energy where peace releases tension.

I’m the master of time and space, one love intervention,

agent of good karma and good angels are my henchmen.

I am the master of time and space…

I am the joker, the King, the Queen and the ACE.

I am abundance for freedom and power,

I am bliss plus joy equals now is the hour.

____

I love smiles, I travel to events for miles for smiles.

I don’t get excited by travelling to Ikea for tiles.

I love hugs, they make me happier than booze or drugs,
With middleclass ravers… or rudeboy shotta thugs.
I love meeting friends through miraculous serendipity,
linking team members through spectacular synchronicity.
I love watching cartoons, and spitting raps like harpoons
…I love star-gazing under dark moons.
Did I say love cartoons like Steven Universe? Thought he was truly cursed
til he mastered his powers… and he speaks the cutest words!
I love deep stories like detailed anime arcs.
I love sunny days under trees in the breeze in play parks.
I love performing, post-performance feedback’s heart-warming,
the next generation’s storming the frontiers of a new age dawning.
I love children, kids from Nepal to Filton.
I love sub bass. Look, I just love sharing poetry on facebook.

_____

I’m the master of time and space…

I’m the joker, the King, the Queen and the ACE.

I’m abundance for freedom and power,

I’m bliss plus joy equals now is the hour.

I’m a Melchizedek advising kings, king of peace

I’m Elijah mocking spiritually impotent priests,

“you have no power over me” – ‘Labrynth’ –

I’m like David Bowies codpiece,

that means I’m the centre of attention, the centre of the bindu point z/ero point energy where peace releases tension.

I’m the master of time and space, one love intervention,

agent of good karma and good angels are my henchmen.

I am the master of time and space…

I am the joker, the King, the Queen and the ACE.

I am abundance for freedom and power,

I am bliss plus joy equals now is the hour.

___

Young man – talk to older women if you want to learn

what to say to girls your age in your world

Wise women prefer good conversation,

But probably won’t say no to diamonds or pearls.

The Holy Grail to me was a job that doesn’t depress me.

Pays for the rent… but does’t over-stress me

or was it a Goddess as wise as she’s sexy

to love me, hug me and bless me, and vice versa, Thank you and Yes please!

The Holy Grail was to have both fun and prosperity

Some dreams come true, may I stay healthy n get more wealthy,

not to get on Instagram to take the arrogant selfies

but to help people like when I had nothing good people helped me.

Every little cell in my body is happy and well see

Each cell glowing with love, deep rooted like Elm trees,

Showered in love from the cosmos above us,

To shine light on road for man dem, gal dem, sisters and brothers.

 

An Orange on an Apple Tree

apple with orange content

Ever feel like an orange on an apple tree? But then you meet a pear on the apple tree and they’re not the same but they know how it feels to be different? Then you meet a satsuma and they’re a bit more like you but still not the same. Then even the apples start congratulating you for articulating the fact that you feel like a weirdo. But none of them knows how it feels to be you, to feel isolated.
But then you look again and it’s not even an apple tree, none of these fruits are apples. They’re all unique fruits. But then, even though you were brave enough to say “I’m not an apple” you were never quite brave enough to say “and this isn’t a fuckin apple tree”.

On an emotional level I’m not best suited to function in modern western society, for a start I care about other people. But nobody is, capitalism fosters stress and depression across the board, the people who function best in it are emotionally neutered. Whether or not I would function better in a time when poets were respected as bards, or in a country that supports it’s arts and artists is another question. I’m coping better now than ever. But that’s partly because I realise that I don’t have to hate myself for not fitting into boxes. Cos I’m not a robot that fits the boxes the system designed for me, I’m an individual and the system is not the perfect economic or political system it pretends to be. I’m not an apple and this is not even an apple tree.

It’s been a while since I was ranting on facebook at half one in the morning, I sleep better with a job and a girlfriend but I’m ill so I’m being emotional / creative at half one in the morning again. Don’t act like you don’t love it ya plums, satsumas and pears, I know you do.

Apocalypse Never (Sinking Ship part 2)

Maybe the apocalypse is ALWAYS tomorrow,
So tapdance on the sinking ship, don’t wallow in sorrow,
Maybe the ship will always and forever be sinking,
They say time doesn’t exist, it’s not what we’ve been thinking.

Sugar… Is highly addictive
And besides heartbreak toothache’s the worst pain I’ve self inflicted,
I got a sweet tooth, I was highly addicted,
So before I get a silver tooth I got a silver tooth pick kid,
Ayo! … They don’t hear me tho!
Silver is a natural… Anti-bacterial!
Ayo! … They don’t hear me tho!
Silver is a natural… Anti-bacterial!
Are the tabloids the voice of the English?
Are they written for the working class?
Half are owned by an Australian millionaire,
so that thought comes right out their…
asssk questions PLEASE!
It looks like the media won all of our last elections. Sheeze!
Ask questions please,
it looks like the media won all of our last elections. Sheeze!
Tabloids tell the working class what the rich want them to think.
Trying to keep the class war right on the brink.
But there’s no separation, our circles all link.
In a Flower of Life. Consciousness or awareness can’t sink.

Maybe the apocalypse is always tomorrow
Maybe Nibiru is always coming.
Maybe the apocalypse is always tomorrow
Maybe the harbingers of doom are always drumming.

So tap dance on the sinking ship but steer it in a direction, Maybe no more fossil fuel power station erection.
Dance as she goes down but be an inspiration for the next generation plug the holes in the ship and give Earth a transformation.

Maybe the ship will always and forever be sinking.
They say time doesn’t exist, it’s not what we’ve been thinking.
But there’s no separation. Our circles all link
In a Flower of life. Consciousness or awareness can’t sink.

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PAGANS!

Druids+Celebrate+Winter+Solstice+Stonehenge+uj52i6PbRcpl1

Data. I’d been planning to write something about ‘the pagans’ for a while.

UK Hip-Hop culture has started to use ‘pagans’ as derogatory slang, as an insult. I’m not down with that.

I would summarise paganism as nature worship, although the term has been used to describe everything from wiccans to Druids. The dictionary definition is even broader – a person holding religious beliefs other than those of the main world religions.

So using ‘pagan’ as an insult is offensive. It’s prejudice. If people used Muslim, Christian or Jew as an insult there would be uproar. I don’t describe myself as a Pagan, but I am friends with people who do.

I suspect, but I don’t know, that the anti-pagan movement stems from Rasta culture which has it’s roots in Christianity (or at least in The Bible.) That’s not a diss to rastafari either. I respect the rasta movement, the ital living and the words of Emperor Haile Sellasie Ras Tafari. I just think that not all pagans should be under the same label as the ‘babylonians’ because the Celtic pagans suffered at the hands of the Romans too. The anti-pagan movement’s probably also got roots in badly researched conspiracy theory documentaries. In short – There is a vast difference between the pagans who worship nature who are generally nice people and the Satan-worshipping politicians who were friends with Jimmy Saville.

In some ways paganism is quite logical and scientific – the Sun gives us life, the Earth gives us life. But I don’t describe myself as pagan because my spirituality is inspired by buddhism, Christianity, Druids and taoism to name a few.

Some of my pagan friends would have a problem with Christianity because historically the Catholic church murdered pagans allover the world, from South American shamans to Celtic Druids. Some of my Christian friends would have a problem with pagans because they have a problem with anything that’s not Christian to put it bluntly.

Now I’m not someone you can put in a box. I walk a narrow path. The pagans will be angry that I claim Christian influence but go to Stonehenge, the Christians will be angry I claim Jesus as an inspiration despite knowledge of a handful of solar deities that were resurected after 3 days like the sun on the solstice (Zeitgeist summarises it well.) Pissing people off is just an inevitable consequence of being open minded and not being a follower.

But the simple fact is most people calling people pagans don’t know what the word means and the rest don’t literally mean ‘nature worshippers’, they’re just calling you a twat.

But hey, a facebook status isn’t gonna change street slang, but it might make me feel a little better.

(This is still a big tune and a sick video and Dizzee still has one of the best flows in the UK, I don’t care whose hot right now or whose sending for who…)

 

post-script –

Had a thought the other day – being a pagan is one of the most patriotic things an Englishman can do. Because that’s what their ancestors were before they had Christianity forced on the ancestors that survived the Roman invasion. When they sing “God save the queen” they’re basically saying “may the Middle-eastern God forced upon my Celtic ancestors by Italian Roman invaders save the German queen who owns half the planet and therefore probably never needs to be saved from anything.” But I’m just sat here sipping this tea. (And God save the Queen cos Mi5 answer to her and have probably killed for less).

pps

Speaking of people using words they don’t know the meaning of – on the subject of Illuminati – 

https://kpkevthepoet.wordpress.com/2013/11/20/the-illuminati-controversial-conspiracy-facts-vs-trivial-conspiracy-theories/

And how I became the Bard of a Druid Order (true story) – https://kpkevthepoet.wordpress.com/2015/10/13/becoming-a-druid-the-chat-with-susanna-lafond-and-the-knighting-of-a-hip-hop-bard-druid-druidry-bard/comment-page-1/

Conflicting Emotions, anger, forgiveness and the age old question – Who Am I?

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It’s been alot of conflicting emotions recently.
Like I want to be honest but I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, I want money but I want free time, I want friends but I don’t feel like socialising, I want empathy for my anxiety but I don’t want to be considered pathetic, I want to stay in touch with my inner child but don’t want to be immature. And the desire to make other people happy has blurred the lines even more, sometimes I don’t even know what I want for myself.

I just want to be myself and make other people happy at the same time. And sometimes that’s not possible. This makes me sad.

I’m getting better at not living like my happiness depends on other people’s acceptance, but it still makes me sad.
This time it didn’t trigger depression and self loathing though, so this isn’t a cry for help or attention, just a desire to express myself at this rare point of actually being able to identify about what I’m feeling.
It’s been alot of conflicting emotions recently.

 


 

Anger.

This is a subject that’s sensitive to me right now.
It’s better to express than repress, but different people have to deal with their own anger and other people’s differently. Sometimes there’s a clash.
Essentially I think everyone has a right to get angry. But everyone has a right to avoid anger.
Anger is better to express than repress. But there are different ways to express it and everyone has different levels of intensity they can endure, and how frequently they can endure it.
So everyone has a right to get angry but everyone else has a right to walk away from it.

I’m over sensitive and suffer from anxiety, so I generally try to avoid conflict or resolve it peacefully. Sometimes someone just wants to fight though and  don’t want to give it to them. Sometimes they want you to fight back. Sometimes they don’t respect you if you won’t. Well I respect myself when I resist the temptation to fight back.

But there’s a thin line between having empathy and forgiveness and being a doormat to get walked all over. I still don’t know where that line is. Is it before or after they nail you to a cross?

All these so called Christians ready to kill for Jesus. How many are ready to forgive?

 


 

Who Am I?

1 Who am I? Empty space. What do I stand for? Whatever feels right in this moment. Why do I do what I do? For the benefit of all, including myself.

My weaknesses are sometimes strengths, my strengths are sometimes weaknesses.

There is nothing to judge and no one more worthy of judging, this is just stuff happening, you can zoom in or zoom out and your judgement my seem more or less accurate.

What are my values? My values have all been questioned recently, what I do and why I do what I do and how I do it. From diet to profession, from politics to love. I had an ego-death of sorts when I moved back to London. I stopped trying to be “spiritual”, started drinking again, stopped smoking, tried to give up meat, wore suits again, voluntarily hung out with posh people (after 10 years of preferring the company of squatters, hippies, activists and artists, most of them not posh.) After 2 years of more change and less comfort zone I understand who am and what I stand for alot more now. What are my values? Creativity and freedom have always been important to me. It has taken me 3 years to reassess my values and programming so I can value money, not more than freedom but readjust the balance. I still value creativity and freedom more than money but I think I have finally discovered a situation that serves me creatively and financially and it will be my choice within freedom to earn money (without getting depressed.) Now I choose to reassess the balance between punctuality and freedom. I’m always late, I think part of that is deeply embedded rebellion against childhood timekeeping and lack of freedom, part of it is anxiety in that part of me never wants to leave the house at all, part of it is optimism in that I never assume there will be traffic or my bus will be late. It’s a perfect storm to look like I just don’t care. And maybe I am just too relaxed about it because if someone else is late, I really don’t care.

I am infinite potential, we all are, and I stand for whatever feels important today.

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Bluebells, Angels, Soundsystems and Mic Cords

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She said “most little girls won’t look for a prince, so they won’t find him,
they’re looking for a villain and hope to find a prince inside him,

most grown women learn better and some wise girls know from the start”,
But I don’t play the game of faking villain, life ain’t a game, it’s art.

They don’t wanna hear how I’m like Jesus or Buddha cos I failed,
they wanna hear how I tried but in comparison I paled,

paled like the white depiction of Christ, sometimes I was cold as ice,
aimed for bodhisattva-like compassion, I’m just not that nice.

They don’t wanna hear how I tried to forgive acting like it’s all bless,
like Jesus forgave the men who put the spear in his chest.

They wanna hear the truth, we’re friends now, I wish her the best
but if I think about it now I overstand better but it still gets me vex.

The old man on his bike in the graveyard smiles like there’s a secret we share,
Like we’re two of a chosen few who knew… we’re not really there.

I’m like a bluebell on a grave, like an angel in a rave, you can help me here.
Sometimes I care so much it looks like I don’t really care.

__

Sometimes, sure, I’m bored like retired Timelords wondering why your
Average human being even bothers to rhyme for.

While your magical tools like your soundsystems and mic cords
Transport my thoughts to your heart to make you say BRRAP! Or “I’m floored.”

Bluebells on graves… angels in raves,

Letting go for forgiveness, happy to live blessed.

While your magical tools like your soundsystems and mic cords
Transport my thoughts to your heart to make you say BRRAP! Or “I’m floored.”

 

Wearing Nothing But Tears

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Wearing Nothing But Tears
 
These are the words of a man who has stood naked in front of the universe and demanded it’s attention.
 
These are the words of a man who has felt guilt, who has felt shame and grew tired of hiding it.
 
Twice I have dropped the cloaks of guilt and shame and walked without them for years before they weaved their ways back on, thread by thread. First I dropped the cloaks given to me by society and religion, and then bitter experiences grew those shadows back again.
But this time I neither hide nor deny my guilt and my shame, I tie them to poles and wave them over my head as both banners of peace and flags of war. I declare peace with myself and peace with my family humanity, I wage war on inauthenticity, fakes, ‘the phonies’.
 
Society told me I was a man so I could not be sensitive, I could not cry, I could not show affection to fellow man unless I or they had just scored a goal for our team. I rejected that notion and was fearlessly sensitive… for a while. Then life struck. I was betrayed, I was rejected, friends struggled with sanity, I did not reap the rewards I felt I deserved, I was hurt, my sensitivity was taken advantage of. The shields came back up. We tend to protect insecurity with a shield of denial and a sword of anger.
 
We were taught by society, by mainstream media and consequently by our peers and sometimes even your parents to value sex and money more than anything else. Those of us who rejected that notion can feel guilt for wanting sex or guilt for wanting money and we can feel sham when we get either. There is nothing wrong with sex or money, it’s how you get either and how we prioritise them that can have wider ramifications. The rest who did not reject the notion of sex and money are the most important things can feel shame for rejecting inspiration, for not following their dreams, or rejecting love for money. (If they’re lucky?)
 
We need not feel guilt or shame BUT when we do WE NEED N0T HIDE IT!
 
I rise with you now if you rise with me. Aware that I have fallen before and donned the cloaks of guilt and shame clasped with by a buckle of insecurity under a hood of depression. Although I walk to a place where I no longer fear the judgments of men, if I fall again, I ask that you do not judge me, for we all wade through darker waters occasionally, but remind me…
 
“…do not be afraid of making mistakes.”
Remind me “do not be afraid of failing.”
Remind me “do not be afraid to be afraid.”
 
I have never made mistakes, I have had learning experiences. I have never failed, I have had learning experiences. Some of those experiences were painful and sometimes I am afraid of feeling that pain again. Fear won’t stop the pain. Is this why the Buddha said “existence is suffering?” Can the universe, that which some call God, judge it’s own creation that it gave free will?
 
Braver men and women than me guided me to this truth – when you admit your fear and your terror to those around you – you become the bravest among them.
 
These are the words of a man who has stood naked in front of the universe and demanded it’s attention.
More than once.

(check out The Work by Byron Katie for practical help dealing with guilt, shame and forgiveness http://thework.com )