How Do We Wake Up





“How do we wake up?” My friend asked me this very open ended question. And I gave them a comprehensive answer eventually.

(This is a first draft and subsequent versions will have relevant links to books and videos on each subject.)

First, a bit of advice. I never listen to anyone who thinks they know what everyone should be doing, if they say “this is the only way” I tend to switch off. We are all unique with unique paths so I’m not telling anyone what to do, these are recommendations not demands. Do you.

I don’t want to be a guru. I have issues! Don’t we all? I was obsessed with enlightenment and thought about the subject extremely deeply for years but as I said I have issues, one of them is obsession and another is thinking too deeply! And my friend who asked me the following question certainly doesn’t want me to be their guru. But they asked me “how do we wake up?”

A simple question. But my answer was never going to be simple. It could have been, I could have answered “there is no you and there is no me, so there is no we to wake up”. It could have been “we are all already awake, there is nothing to do and nowhere to go.” But that’s not my style and a bit of a cop out. We can ignore the illusion of reality to give short answers that sound wise but meanwhile you’re still gonna wake up with the illusion of you, me, time and space and we all have to decide how to fill the illusion of time and space (if that’s what they are.)

So I answered as honestly as I could. First I bailed, cos I think too deep and immediately thought of several conflicting answers. Then I decided that was where to begin – there are different types of waking up and there are different ways to to achieve each. Here are a few I’ve discovered and obsessed over, to varying degrees. I obsessed so you don’t have to…


So different types of waking up – kundalini awakening. Political awareness awakening. Health food awakening. Energy awareness awakening. Fractal multidimensional nature of reality awakening.
All of these types of awakening affect each other, and assist each other.
(Although political awareness can temporarily slow down other types of awakening if it results in depression but I think it’s a necessary step in overall spiritual growth.)
I should add “Shadow work, emotional / psychological awakening” to the list too, it might be the most important one.

Kundalini awakening can be inspired by tantric sex, kundalini yoga and pranayama yoga. I can recommend a good book on the subject of kundalini tantra, a great video showing a kundalini pranayama technique and/or recommend making love with someone with tantric experiences. <Dry orgasms are relatively frequent for me, but I don’t attend tantra workshops and I’m not in ‘the scene’, find it all a bit creepy to be honest. But I know I shouldn’t judge, just prefer to read books, watch Mantak Chia lectures and practice in private. Growth for me in the non judgment area needed.>

[Best book on Kundalini Tabtra I’ve read –  ]

Political awareness awakening. This one’s hard cos there’s so much misinformation out there but eventually one should probably realise that most politicians are there for personal gain, most political decisions help the rich get richer and most wars are fought for profit and the reasons they give us are lies. It’s hard for me to view someone as a fully functioning human if they can’t see past the basic matrix of hypocrisy the politicians and mainstream media presents. I know reality is subjective, and it’s all perception (more on that later) and I know we shouldn’t judge. But one of my own areas to grow in is not judging people for believing politicians and newspapers. The lies have seemed so obvious for so long now it’s hard for me not to judge and get angry. I’m getting off the point.
<To what extent political awareness has anything to do with enlightenment in a broader sense is a debate you could have, but I’m inclined to agree with Michael Tsarion and Mark Passio, you cannot be compassionate and aware without sometimes experiencing righteous anger and all forms of government is a form of tyranny with an implied threat of violence>

[Tsarion on politics

Health food awakening. Pretty simple, you are what you eat. So natural and organic is ideal. But life is all about balance so I don’t judge processed food or meat eating, meat is natural and life is suffering but slaughterhouse’s cause unnecessary suffering.

Energy awareness awakening. This is on two levels, knowledge and experience. You can read about quantum physics and I have some good stuff to recommend on the subject. But I would honestly recommend playing with crystals in the bath <with or without shamanic assistance> and chi gung (also spelt Qi Gong which makes it difficult to search for sometimes). Chi gung is like a cross between Tai Chi and yoga and allows you to feel chi in and around your body. It’s basically circular movements and spiral movements with synchronized breathing. I live it and should do it every day but I am undisciplined. I’m working on that tho!

[Best chi gung vid I found online, starts with an explanation and then gives you a beautiful exercise to follow


Fractal multidimensional nature of reality awakening. Basically meditation on the nature of reality over time will deal with this one. And a good dose of Terrence Mckenna will deal with this one. I suspect a near death experience would too. I’ve had various glimpses of this breakdown of reality in various ways from Ayahuasca ceremonies to tantric sex dry orgasms. My clearest experience was via plant medicine but it might not have happened if I hadn’t had experiences of awakening in other ways before.

And finally – “Shadow work, emotional / psychological awakening”, as I say, it might be the most important one. This is a complex subject and although it relates to psychology it is in my opinion the most important spiritual work, and maybe the hardest and scariest. Someone can be a tantric master and an a-hole. Someone can be a vegan a-hole. Someone can be a yoga teaching a-hole. We can all be a-holes, I know I can. Shadow work and emotional growth is how to stop being an a-hole! 😂
It’s basically looking at your dark-side, your weaknesses, your fears which are generally rooted in self esteem issues and insecurities we’ve had since childhood. We usually hide these things behind a wall of either anxiety or bravado, either overtly express it with low self esteem and/or hide it behind a front of arrogance. Because when we see our insecurities and self esteem issues we find it hard to love ourselves. And when we hide from these things we defend it, defend the sadness with anger and have arguments with people we love so we don’t have to admit to ourselves how scared we are, scared that we might be lonely, scared that we might not be enough, scared that we might be judged negatively for our weaknesses and scared that those who are being judgmental might be right.
We stop being a-holes to ourselves and to others when we see these shadows, accept these shadows and LOVE OURSELVES ANYWAY. It’s like the EFT tapping techniques, “even though I am insert negative perception here I truly love and accept myself.”
For this work I would recommend Ayahuasca but at the risk of sounding like a normie or a Muggle conventional therapy helped alot, particularly hypnotherapy. And the work of Jamie Catto and Byron Katie. Again, each of these subjects I can recommend videos or books on. This last one I can recommend a Jamie Catto workshop or my hypnotherapist in Bristol, she’s awesome 😊
I have to add the Balanced View teaching, workshops and community to the list of positive influences on my awakening but the way it works cultivates a reliance on the community and the organisation that I am personally uncomfortable with and uncomfortable recommending. I say dip your toe in and use what works for you but some of my best friends are swimming in the deep end of it and seem fine ☺️

[Jamie Catto does workshops all over England, overseas and online in facing creative blocks, shadow work and relationships.

Just check out his website

[Byron Katie and The Work (get to the root causes of your suffering and stop believing the stories you may have told yourself, powerful stuff

One last thing! Perception and the fractal nature of reality. The paradox of all of this is that if the nature of reality is fractal there will always be more ways to awaken, there will always be another door to go through, each answer leads to more questions. So there is “nowhere to go and nothing to do” as Balanced View might say, we’re all already awake and all is already enlightened and illuminated by our awareness.
Okay, now I’m done.

With minor edits that’s almost exactly what I sent to my friend. I add for the sake of humility – I don’t meditate every day, I don’t do pranyama every day, I don’t eat strictly organic, and I don’t do Chi Gung every day. If I had as much discipline as I had obsession I would probably be happier, healthier and richer. But I don’t know if I’d be having as much fun.

Bliss plus joy equals now, be love x


Enlightenment, conflicting desires and emotional growth

We all have conflicting desires. We all sometimes have desires or emotions that may go against our core beliefs or highest held ideals. We’re all hypocrites. At least in thought, if not in action. The sooner we accept that about ourselves and each other the sooner we can evolve as individuals and therefore as a collective.
Enlightenment is a red herring, a fake out, a wild goose to chase down a hierarchical, path that paradoxically requires you to see there is no better or worse to be better than you were. At least my perception of the general misunderstanding of the the terms enlightenment. The real work happens every day after the enlightening experiences, when you want to remember nothing matters in a universe of infinite fractals but this person right now is costing you time or money or patience. It’s emotional work, it’s learning to forgive yourself and others within this highly convincing illusion.
But we are restricted, because what I am speaking of regarding the words “enlightening” and “enlightenment” are quite different from how the words may have originally been intended by those translating Buddhist texts. I will not attempt to define “nirvana”.
But enlightenment. I can discuss some contrasting interpretations.
Whether that is an enlightened state where you understand something of the fundamental nature of reality or a state of inner peace where duality and negativity no longer register – it’s not a final destination.
The word is loaded so I replace it with a phrase – inner peace.
I would never describe myself as enlightened, far from it, I am plagued by unanswerable questions of an inquisitive mind, over-sensitivity to most of western modern culture and insecurities related to all of the above, but I have had both moments of clarity where the fractal nature of reality was made clear. And I have had periods of inner peace. They have both been followed by periods of confusion, depression or anger later down the line.
But both study and experience have reminded me of the zen phrase – “before enlightenment, chop wood and fetch water. After enlightenment, chop wood and fetch water.”
Do the work. The real work is seeing the dark things your mind does sometimes and wants sometimes and loving yourself anyway. The real work is feeling those desires but listening to your heart. And that doesn’t happen in a flash of enlightenment in a tipi or on a mountain, it takes practice. It takes facing situations that could piss you off and maintaining inner peace. It’s a process, not a destination.
I’m still learning ways in which I am and have been a hypocrite. And I’m still learning ways to love myself despite them.
Love yourself.

The Urge – Depression and Anxiety in the Face of Demonic Politics

“The urge to what, to be demonic carbon copies who work for the machine? the urge to be celebrities who hate their lives and get cosmetic surgery to be attractive until gossip mags or tabloids finally get an unflattering photo of them in tracksuits on the way to the supermarket? The urge to earn money and pay taxes to the archonic demons until the day we die? The urge to ejaculate? Which urge are we associating with these interdimensional parasites?”
Things Kev says in conversation to people that get it.

A friend read that and responded with the following questions…

“How do we defeat them? And get out own power back? And to protect ourselves? Are we multi dimensional and if so, how…”

So I responded with the following answer…

“I am a firm believer in us being multidimensional (in fact if I know anything, which I don’t, but if I knew anything I’d know everything is multidimensional including us.)
How do we defeat them? If I knew the answer to that question I’d probably either be a general in a spiritual war or a dead man! But I suspect we defeat them by achieving the most difficualt of balance – being aware of the darkness and evil they perpetuate and not getting depressed about it. When we let them dim our light they win. If we watch too many conspiracy fact documentaries and believe we have no power they win. BUT if we’re completely ignorant of their fuckry and just work and pay taxes to them without caring or knowing they win too. Finding that balance between knowing, caring and loving life anyway is the win for me I think, but it’s not one day on the winners podium, it’s a process of hurting anf healing, short moments of peace during the fuckry to prolong the longer periods of peace between the fuckry, it’s a lifetime of trying not to stay angry at tabloid newspapers and Jeremy Kyle and remembering none of the aboveare stopping you from staring at the flowers of a petal or hugging a loved one and even if they locked you up and threw away the key you still have your heart and mind and you can still meditate and love. It’s knowing your shadows, your insecurities and loving yourself anyway and it’s knowing their evil and pitying them instead of fearing them. While at the same time not giving in.
Hmmm… maybe I am a general in a spiritual war after all. Shhh… don’t tell anybody, I’m just making music and teaching kids, and nobody’s listening to me – which is probably why I’m still alive…”