Ever feel like an orange on an apple tree? But then you meet a pear on the apple tree and they’re not the same but they know how it feels to be different? Then you meet a satsuma and they’re a bit more like you but still not the same. Then even the apples start congratulating you for articulating the fact that you feel like a weirdo. But none of them knows how it feels to be you, to feel isolated.
But then you look again and it’s not even an apple tree, none of these fruits are apples. They’re all unique fruits. But then, even though you were brave enough to say “I’m not an apple” you were never quite brave enough to say “and this isn’t a fuckin apple tree”.
On an emotional level I’m not best suited to function in modern western society, for a start I care about other people. But nobody is, capitalism fosters stress and depression across the board, the people who function best in it are emotionally neutered. Whether or not I would function better in a time when poets were respected as bards, or in a country that supports it’s arts and artists is another question. I’m coping better now than ever. But that’s partly because I realise that I don’t have to hate myself for not fitting into boxes. Cos I’m not a robot that fits the boxes the system designed for me, I’m an individual and the system is not the perfect economic or political system it pretends to be. I’m not an apple and this is not even an apple tree.
It’s been a while since I was ranting on facebook at half one in the morning, I sleep better with a job and a girlfriend but I’m ill so I’m being emotional / creative at half one in the morning again. Don’t act like you don’t love it ya plums, satsumas and pears, I know you do.