Tax Returns (Solidarity!)

Things I never learned at school…

How to do accounts. What an invoice is. How to make one. How to do a tax return. What a mortgage is. What it means (“mort” = death {mortal}, and “gage” = grip…)
What government means (“govern” = control, and “ment” = mind {mental}…)
Oh, and normal people have to go to court, not just the bad guys on Agatha Christie dramas.

(Just saying, my parents actually did a great job considering you couldn’t teach me anything I didn’t want to learn and teachers do a great job considering they’re told what to teach by OFSTED who work for the government, the mind-controllers {it’s not a conspiracy theory, it’s etymology}.

Solution? Teach the children

I decided to be a writer, performer and teacher because that’s what I love doing, inspiring. I don’t like Maths or paperwork. `but if you are going to be self employed occasionally you have to be an accountant. Thank you facebook for helping to ‘normalise’ the idea that being self-employed forces you to be a part time accountant and I never wanted to be an accountant. Seems I was not the only one who is neither good at it, nor likes doing it. But it’s done, for the greater benefit. “You are noooot alooooooone….”

I do it though. But there were times I had ideological and emotional issues with it. When I had an issue with it to that extent I was squatting and I wasn’t accepting benefits. But even when I ate out of skips I was surviving off the excesses of western civilisation. And even if I grew all my own food I would still be buying seeds from that system, everything is connected. My issue is that they tell us they don’t have the money for our health system or to fund renewable resources then spend billions on war. It’s a massive grey area and moaning about it doesn’t solve anything but also moaning about people who have the vision to see that we are governed by a corrupt and hypocritical system and seek to find ways out of it is not solving anything either. I’m paying my taxes now, yes, and don’t expect to get criticised. But I’m not happy about it and neither expect to get criticised. If you want to point fingers point them at Starbucks and Vodaphone, both of which have allegedly failed to pay millions in taxes. Just saying, just data.

So HMRC, as a self employed writer and entertainer I did everything from hosting kids parties to running an open mic to MCing to Jungle to compering acoustic nights to teaching workshops at schools last year. “What sort of self-employed work do you do?” I don’t have a f*cking clue mate! Whatever I’m offered that I know I’m good at or suspect I would be good at? Can’t put that on a form, so you’re getting “Holistic Inspiration – Performance, Writing and Teaching” (because I don’t get paid to be a cosmic orgasm facilitator, that’s voluntary.)

Teach the children.

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