LYRICS! KP Kev the Poet, the Wishing Well sessions, Winter 2016

GETTIN DOWN

(produced by Chemical Problem

Just gettin down…

Just gettin down…

Just gettin down…

 to get up!….

Sometimes you got to get down

…to get up!

Sometimes you got to get down

…to get up!

I might sit down…

I might get down…

but that won’t mean I’ve given up!

I might have me some me time…

But in the mean time…

I’m visualisin’ gettin up!

____

VERSE 1

Just gettin down to get up, lit it up, Hit the switch

lluminated the environment with lighting, now you’re enlightened.

Got inspiration from Bristol to Tasmania, Small World to Ozora (temporary Zions)

Shamballah to Boom Town, From London to Brighton,

From the Magpie to the Upper Florentine to Chi Wholefoods with Rainbo Lion

and from Matter to the Hive dons switched my mics on.

From supporting Chester P in Passing Clouds to Congo Natty in Lakota,

Zion Train in Trinity, I’m not sure which was doper.

Or performing in Stonehenge as a Bard among the Druids,

I kept it real, and kept it Hip-Hop with a reggae flow that’s fluid.

But when depression set in I didn’t feel like reppin

I kept indoors to release… the pain and the stressin

It’s all exalted, the curse was a blessin

time to write and time to heal, and I’ll come back with brand new weapons

the pen is mightier than the sword, and still ain’t no half steppin,

I’m full steppin to steppers dub with all my synchro bredrin!

__

CHORUS

Just gettin down…

Just gettin down…

Just gettin down…

 to get up!….

Sometimes you got to get down

…to get up!

Sometimes you got to get down

…to get up!

I might sit down…

I might get down…

but that won’t mean I’ve given up!

I might have me some me time…

But in the mean time…

I’m visualisin’ gettin up!

Just gettin down

Just gettin down

Just gettin down

 to get up!…. x2

Just because you aren’t making progress as fast as you think you should does not mean you’re not making progress. Keep going! Relax, but keep going. And shine.


 

Planet Earth

CHORUS

Planet Earth, …concrete on damaged turf

Where mans have burst… dams n worse for a fatter purse

Mother Earth… concrete on honoured turf…

I kiss the rose quartz on her alter… for her worth. x2

__

Standing Rock… hard… like an obelisk

I fell in the cauldron as a baby like Taliesin and Obelix

I boil pots of healing herbs, algae and plants  like Getafix

If you need chlorella, neem, or CBD see me to get a fix.

Prescipicise of global warming on the edge of mass flooding

Guess ya wish politicians and energy companies were less money grubbing

Earth goes through her cycles, Earth will be fine,

but is this humanity’s time to go… or time to shine?

Let’s change it all, we don’t need these chains at all, do they use their brains at all?

It’s unsustainable… if it’s not sustainable…

Sharing is caring, whatever’s available giving,

solar panels, car batteries, crops… Sustainable living.

Maybe we need to reassess priorities and pollution’s the penalty,

living in babylon… and music’s the remedy,

Babylons just a state of mind… and music’s the therapy…. maybe it’s high time for renewable energy.

____

CHORUS

Planet Earth, …concrete on damaged turf

Where mans have burst… dams n worse for a fatter purse

Mother Earth… concrete on honoured turf…

I kiss the rose quartz on her alter… for her worth. x 2

OUTRO

Let’s change it all, we don’t need these chains at all, do they use their brains at all?

It’s unsustainable if it’s not sustainable.

Sharing is caring, whatever’s available giving, solar panels, car batteries, crops, Sustainable living.

Maybe we need to reassess priorities and pollution’s the penalty, living in babylon and music’s the remedy,

Babylons just a state of mind and music’s the therapy, maybe it’s high time for renewable energy.

On planet Earth, …concrete on damaged turf

Where mans have burst… dams n worse for a fatter purse

Mother Earth… concrete on honoured turf…

I kiss the rose quartz on her alter… for her worth.


 

Sweet Ting

VERSE 1:

Sweet Ting,  the epicentre of each other’s comfort zones,

ignoring the vibrations from our mobile phones,

when we’ve got to get up for work, missions or roam,

its hard, it’s oh so hard for me to leave the girl alone.

It’s difficult leaving her, I believe in her.

She’s a sweet ting like Stevia.

Reading up on Dzogchen buddha, cooking up the healthy food, huh?

She’s a sweet ting like coconut sugar,

she’s wise, full of good info and the best advice,

her wisdom’s a good addition to anyone’s life

She’s compassionate with X amount of empathy,

I’m so lucky to share with this angel Heaven sent to me.

___

CHORUS:

her smile is the sweetest ting in the world. I’m so unbelievably lucky my sweet tings this girl.

Her hug is the sweetest ting in the world…I’m so unbelievably lucky my sweet tings this girl.

Her kiss is the sweetest ting in the world. I’m so unbelievably lucky my sweet tings this girl.

Her love is…the sweetest ting  in the world. I’m so unbelievably lucky my sweet tings this girl.

___

outro?:

We walk through the orchard of delight

holding hands n picking apples for an apple pipe.

Her eyes are blue with gold… just like

…two circles of labradorite…

 

(Dungeons and Dragons)

electric blue illumination of clouds, wondering aloud, …and standing proud,

honest communication leads to open heart relation, …empathy over retaliation.

Competition’s not better than collaboration,

more beneficial than nationalism’s seeing just one nation

love expressed through the subtlest of gestures…

open-ended benefit, I’m existing for her pleasure.

open-ended benefit, open hearted,

open minded, not hard to find its always there,

it’s not something we find but something we remember,

remembering to remember with a tribe that’s tender as fierce,

yin energy receives but yang pierces,

weird it’s unfamiliar but at the same time home,

between each breath’s where the spirit guides roam… stop…. Pause. (16)

Breathe…

believe in yourself, admit your fears,

now your braver than you were, see what a love warrior shares

is not the spoils of killing but stories of will and willing

to love and learn, and build bridges we once chose to burn.

Like the saying, “anger is sadness’ bodyguard”.

Let go of the anger, let down your guard.

Don’t try and be soft just be…

Just be… don’t try and be hard. (8)


WISHING WELL

INTRO

om lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu,

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration

I appreciate appreciation, and honest communication…

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration

___

VERSE 1

I wish for everyone to feel relaxed, like just after you’ve climaxed,

been paid cash, or told they mind even less than you that you’re unwaxed!

Relaxed, free from tension or anxiety..

Like you found the comfiest reclining seat in your ideal library.

I wish for everyone to feel Confidence, self-confidence, not unconfident

, you’re all part of father science and mother nature –  that’s common sense.

I wish for everyone to feel content like resting on a beach somewhere sunny

or a pile of their own money, abundance is freedom sonny.

I wish for everyone to feel they’re manifesting abundance with ease,

happy to work in bliss and joy, with synchronicities.

I wish for everyone to feel secure – securities, not insecurities!

But secure in uncertainties, deep rooted like oak trees.

I wish for everyone to feel shining like the single sun.

I wish for everyone to feel connected like Earth to everyone.

I appreciate appreciation, and honest communication…

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration.

CHORUS

I’m thankful and grateful for relaxation, self love,

abundance, and blessings from mother earth below and father sky above.

I’m thankful and grateful for love, confidence – even gratitude,

freedom, comfort, security and a positive attitude! x2

om lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu,

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration.

I appreciate appreciation, and honest communication…

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration.

___

VERSE 2

I wish for everyone to feel the Love, sufi winged heart of an eagle or dove,

rise in love like a bird, no need to fall like a shove,

I wish for everyone to feel affection, the strongest bond, yes, the fondness the;

admiration, appreciation, sympathy, empathy, honesty.

I wish for everyone to feel gratitude, for being and seeing,

the gratitude for witnessing mother nature, and believing

Gratitude will increase the amplitude of attraction to what your feeling

to your longitude and latitude, increasing your being.

_

I wish for everyone to feel freedom, spread wings, you’ll need em!

They’ll say “what a fine specimen -let’s feed him and breed him!”

I wish for everyone to feel free,to do what their soul needs,

what inspires their hearts, and to feast on what their soul feeds.

I wish for everyone to feel comfort, whether or not you feel some hurt,

to feel loved, nurtured, and supported through shadow or sun work.

I appreciate appreciation, and honest communication…

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration.

_

CHORUS

I’m thankful and grateful for relaxation, self love,

abundance, and blessings from mother earth below an father sky above.

I’m thankful and grateful for love, confidence – even gratitude!

freedom, comfort, security and a positive attitude! x2

om lokah samasta sukhino bhavantu,

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration.

I appreciate appreciation, and honest communication…

I wish for all beings in all dimensions to feel the love vibration.


 

Ninjas vs Wizards… (edited)

It’s like wizards versus agents, ninjas vs angels,

yeah wizards and angels vs ninjas and agents,

ninjas vs wizards x4

It’s a little bit ridiculous isn’t it,… but from my perspective it’s just the way it is.

Wizards vs ninjas. Ninjas vs wizards. X2

MI5 and CIA’s agents and mercenary ninjas

overseas with an economic hitman’s hit list.

There’s no need to hide my face, look they’ve already seen my facebook,

we profiled ourselves in the empire’s database. Oops.

But Matrix agents and ninjas could never beat noble wizards,

who choose not to fight or compete – they’re just snowflakes in my blizzards.

Angels vs agents, ninjas vs wizards,

and in a way it’s racist if we blame it all on lizards..

We were never krusties, we were Rebel Alliance, ignorance blinds us to US and UKs Evil Empires, stealing oil, splitting atoms, abusing Jedi science, but the sins of our politicians never defined us.

Now I’m more like bendu, I see the illusion of light and dark, it’s all exalted benefit and I’m just playing my part. Is that light, good, positive? It’s all love from the start, so I laugh at nations and corporations while waving my staff.

like Darth Vader on E, or james bond, he’s

more like that Alchemist double o seven John Dee

but not at her majesty’s secret service unless her majesty’s mother earth it’s the rapper with the deep poems or poet with rap verses.

It’s like wizards versus agents, evil ninjas vs angels, yeah wizards and angels vs ninjas and agents,

ninjas vs wizards x4

It’s a little bit ridiculous isn’t it,.. but from ny perspective it’s just the way it is.

Wizards vs ninjas. Ninjas vs wizards. X2

BUt it’s the illusion of division, like war between religions… My ego saw separation where there isn’t… Everything is one and that’s a given… It’s your reflection you’ve forgiven… You’ve got what you need so look within.

I’m one with the Lord, and the Lord is with me

I’m one with the Goddess, and the Goddess is with me

I’m one with the Tao, and the Tao is with me

I’m one with the quantum force, and the force is with me…

 


BLISS + JOY = NOW

I’m the master of time and space…

I ‘m the joker, the King, the Queen and the ACE.

I’m abundance for freedom and power,

I’m bliss plus joy equals now is the hour.

I’m a Melchizedek advising kings, king of peace

I’m Elijah mocking spiritually impotent priests,

“you have no power over me” – ‘Labrynth’ –

I’m like David Bowies codpiece,

that means I’m the centre of attention, the centre of the bindu point z/ero point energy where peace releases tension.

I’m the master of time and space, one love intervention,

agent of good karma and good angels are my henchmen.

I am the master of time and space…

I am the joker, the King, the Queen and the ACE.

I am abundance for freedom and power,

I am bliss plus joy equals now is the hour.

___

Super Kev with the money and the funding,

the freedom, power and abundance to invest in some things

positive, to spread love and wisdom to the community.

My super power’s increasing love and unity.

You wanna learn the skill? Chill, the workshop’s sold out.

I’ll put you on the waiting list, I got you, no doubt.

My super speed n super strength leaves my push bike worn out,

and lovers passed out on cloud 9 like “ah wow”.

My super hero mansion fosters love and community

Altruistic philanthropist with tree-houses between two trees.

Ewok village, some of the workshops in yurts shock

visitors to the love lodge not ready for nudity.

Psychedelic decor, it looks like Ozora

Meets Wayne Mansion, meets Cirque de Soleil on tour, huh?

Children teaching adults Bible, Koran and Torah

Taught to respect all cultures, know their rights and the laws, huh?

____

I’m the master of time and space…

I’m the joker, the King, the Queen and the ACE.

I’m abundance for freedom and power,

I’m bliss plus joy equals now is the hour.

I’m a Melchizedek advising kings, king of peace

I’m Elijah mocking spiritually impotent priests,

“you have no power over me” – ‘Labrynth’ –

I’m like David Bowies codpiece,

that means I’m the centre of attention, the centre of the bindu point z/ero point energy where peace releases tension.

I’m the master of time and space, one love intervention,

agent of good karma and good angels are my henchmen.

I am the master of time and space…

I am the joker, the King, the Queen and the ACE.

I am abundance for freedom and power,

I am bliss plus joy equals now is the hour.

____

I love smiles, I travel to events for miles for smiles.

I don’t get excited by travelling to Ikea for tiles.

I love hugs, they make me happier than booze or drugs,
With middleclass ravers… or rudeboy shotta thugs.
I love meeting friends through miraculous serendipity,
linking team members through spectacular synchronicity.
I love watching cartoons, and spitting raps like harpoons
…I love star-gazing under dark moons.
Did I say love cartoons like Steven Universe? Thought he was truly cursed
til he mastered his powers… and he speaks the cutest words!
I love deep stories like detailed anime arcs.
I love sunny days under trees in the breeze in play parks.
I love performing, post-performance feedback’s heart-warming,
the next generation’s storming the frontiers of a new age dawning.
I love children, kids from Nepal to Filton.
I love sub bass. Look, I just love sharing poetry on facebook.

_____

I’m the master of time and space…

I’m the joker, the King, the Queen and the ACE.

I’m abundance for freedom and power,

I’m bliss plus joy equals now is the hour.

I’m a Melchizedek advising kings, king of peace

I’m Elijah mocking spiritually impotent priests,

“you have no power over me” – ‘Labrynth’ –

I’m like David Bowies codpiece,

that means I’m the centre of attention, the centre of the bindu point z/ero point energy where peace releases tension.

I’m the master of time and space, one love intervention,

agent of good karma and good angels are my henchmen.

I am the master of time and space…

I am the joker, the King, the Queen and the ACE.

I am abundance for freedom and power,

I am bliss plus joy equals now is the hour.

___

Young man – talk to older women if you want to learn

what to say to girls your age in your world

Wise women prefer good conversation,

But probably won’t say no to diamonds or pearls.

The Holy Grail to me was a job that doesn’t depress me.

Pays for the rent… but does’t over-stress me

or was it a Goddess as wise as she’s sexy

to love me, hug me and bless me, and vice versa, Thank you and Yes please!

The Holy Grail was to have both fun and prosperity

Some dreams come true, may I stay healthy n get more wealthy,

not to get on Instagram to take the arrogant selfies

but to help people like when I had nothing good people helped me.

Every little cell in my body is happy and well see

Each cell glowing with love, deep rooted like Elm trees,

Showered in love from the cosmos above us,

To shine light on road for man dem, gal dem, sisters and brothers.

 

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My yearly ‘Tax Return Rant’, Living with Toothache, Online Privacy and other recent rants and lyrics!

Tax return. I just did it.

Yeah, it was as accurate as I could make it, but there were estimations. Why? Cos I’m a poet, not an accountant, I hate paperwork and I hate maths so being forced to do both let alone either by a government that spends my taxes on illegal wars upsets me.

Almost tempted to turn down paying gigs from now on so I never have to do another tax return ever. I hate having to estimate how much money I lost trying to change the world in an effort to tell the people I never gave any authority to how much of my money they can spend on schools (yes), hospitals (yes), roads (yes), and bombing brown people for oil.

Still, if I stop performing for money and only earn from the Steiner school I’ll still be getting taxed by the same system. So I’ll still accept paying gigs and I’ll still do tax returns, this is the (fucked up) system I am in. I had a chance to completely escape before but I ironically didn’t have the finances to do it safely and comfortably. One day I will live self sufficient and rely on the pedos in parliament for nothing.

I nearly became a politician last year. Nearly. Still thinking about starting a religion though…

think there’s already a love party in London. I would start a religion and start a political party based on love, community and altruism / benefit for all. Rather than the current economic systems based on competition and ownership rather than sharing. Electoral reform is a must here though, for proportional representation. But all of it’s pointless until enough people are educated in the nature of politics to see why we should change and until enough people are educated in the hierarchical nature of both the culture around science and the culture around religion. Science as a method is fine, but plenty of people use the scientific method to disprove long-held theories and lose their respect, job or tenure because they’ve rattled the cage. Oh my God I could write about why I want to start a political party and why I want to start a religion all Sunday, but I won’t until I actually feel like doing either of those things, this stops now! lol


 

anger is much easier to deal with than sadness, but it won’t really go away until you deal with the roots of the problem. Generally people punch cos it’s easier to punch than cry…

screen-shot-2016-10-16-at-23-10-52


Ego and awareness

… watch for when the ego is the witness of emotions rather than awareness witnessing the ego witnessing emotions…


Donald Trump and David Cameron

screen-shot-2016-10-16-at-23-11-14

Context…

screen-shot-2016-10-16-at-23-14-17

We weren’t harsh, we were gullible pawns of Rupert Murdochs media. The Sun said we can’t elect a man who can’t eat a bacon sandwich and the average person seems to do what The Sun says we should do. The tone of this post does not reflect my anger, frustration or sadness. Humans – do better.

Ps that was back when the choice was between Milliband and Cameron. So bedroom tax, the selling of the NHS and all sorts of fuckry might have been avoided if the Sun hadn’t put that embarrassing photo on the front page the day before the election. People are more easily manipulated than we want to admit, myself included.


Toothache – Loving Life (Despite Intense Physical Pain)

Seriously? Did I really need toothache, abscess and swollen face to show me how happy I was just before? Is that lesson? Don’t worry, I learned the other lesson – don’t eat Haribo (yeah, mother f- you said that in 2007, you an addict.) Gelatine. Sugar. It was never gonna have a happy ending.

Remember when penny sweets were actually sweets a penny each? I still associate that evil stuff with a happy childhood. Ramblings of a poet in self inflicted physical pain, don’t mind me.

Just watched comedian Tracy Morgan talk about his accident and how when you’re in crisis you see who will ride for you. My new friends are true friends, I picked well and the universe through me some good ones on a random too. I’m still grateful, and still happy.

But, before the swings n roundabouts, it’s worth mentioning that last weekend I was happy as I can remember for a very long time. Things have been going well, thankyou universe and thankyou Bristol.

New job, old city, new meditation sessions, poetry workshops, gigs at wholefood shops, positive vibes and cuddles aplenty. Toothache is just a minor chord in a major melody, and I’m writing the score.

More superfoods, more writing, more money, more good health, more self discipline, more loving xx

 


Online Privacy

Does “enable Siri on this Mac” mean “give apple permission to listen to every word I say near my laptop”?

(Questions that make you sound paranoid to ignorant people number 2133).


Lyrics

Sometimes I still use pen and paper… #lyrics

Young man – talk to older women if you want to learn
what to say to girls your age in your world

Wise women prefer good conversation,
(But probably won’t say no to diamonds or pearls.)

The Holy Grail to me was a job that doesn’t depress me.
Pays for the rent… but does’t over-stress me

or was it a Goddess as wise as she’s sexy
to love me, hug me and bless me, and vice versa, Thank you and Yes please!

The Holy Grail was to have both fun and prosperity
Some dreams come true, may I stay healthy n get more wealthy,

not to get on Instagram to take the arrogant selfies
but to help people like when I had nothing good people helped me.

Every little cell in my body is happy and well see
Each cell glowing with love, deep rooted like Elm trees,

Showered in love from the cosmos above us,
To shine light on road for man dem, gal dem, sisters and brothers.

(ps The Holy Grail is still the Moon Cup.)

screen-shot-2016-10-17-at-00-33-46


Free-Man 

So all that Free-Man stuff, Article 61 of the Magna Carta and the maritime law stuff… Is any of that affected by the fact that the Chilcott Enquiry came to the conclusion that our previous Prime Minister Tony Blair dragged us into a war under false pretenses? Can we conscientiously object to our taxes being spent on illegal wars and point to the Chilcott Enquiry as evidence that our politicians can’t be trusted? Just curious…

…that’s a big if though. But to be honest ‘they’ can usually intimidate me until I stop seeing ‘them’ as ‘they’…

…I was a conscientious objector to Western Imperialism but that didn’t stop the tanks from rolling…

…”Guilty – Giving Up Inspirational Living Towards Yourself” KRS-One’s wife apparently…


“Everything is complete. There are no loose ends of excess or deficit. This completeness, this simple perfection, doesn’t mean that everything is all stitched up according to some master plan. {Though it might.} Rather, it is in the completeness of infinity, in which each moment is infinite. However things are, they will reveal their completion when we cease striving to create something, control something, become something, and simply allow the presence of ourselves within the becoming of the world. This is the essential view of dzogchen, a buddhist approach to spiritual practice and to daily life which is concerned with maintaining a sense of relaxed openness and happy attentive interest. ”
From Simply Being by James Low

Apocalypse Never (Sinking Ship part 2)

Maybe the apocalypse is ALWAYS tomorrow,
So tapdance on the sinking ship, don’t wallow in sorrow,
Maybe the ship will always and forever be sinking,
They say time doesn’t exist, it’s not what we’ve been thinking.

Sugar… Is highly addictive
And besides heartbreak toothache’s the worst pain I’ve self inflicted,
I got a sweet tooth, I was highly addicted,
So before I get a silver tooth I got a silver tooth pick kid,
Ayo! … They don’t hear me tho!
Silver is a natural… Anti-bacterial!
Ayo! … They don’t hear me tho!
Silver is a natural… Anti-bacterial!
Are the tabloids the voice of the English?
Are they written for the working class?
Half are owned by an Australian millionaire,
so that thought comes right out their…
asssk questions PLEASE!
It looks like the media won all of our last elections. Sheeze!
Ask questions please,
it looks like the media won all of our last elections. Sheeze!
Tabloids tell the working class what the rich want them to think.
Trying to keep the class war right on the brink.
But there’s no separation, our circles all link.
In a Flower of Life. Consciousness or awareness can’t sink.

Maybe the apocalypse is always tomorrow
Maybe Nibiru is always coming.
Maybe the apocalypse is always tomorrow
Maybe the harbingers of doom are always drumming.

So tap dance on the sinking ship but steer it in a direction, Maybe no more fossil fuel power station erection.
Dance as she goes down but be an inspiration for the next generation plug the holes in the ship and give Earth a transformation.

Maybe the ship will always and forever be sinking.
They say time doesn’t exist, it’s not what we’ve been thinking.
But there’s no separation. Our circles all link
In a Flower of life. Consciousness or awareness can’t sink.

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Bluebells, Angels, Soundsystems and Mic Cords

She said “most little girls won’t look for a prince, so they won’t find him,
they’re looking for a villain and hope to find a prince inside him,

most grown women learn better and some wise girls know from the start”,
But I don’t play the game of faking villain, life ain’t a game, it’s art.

They don’t wanna hear how I’m like Jesus or Buddha cos I failed,
they wanna hear how I tried but in comparison I paled,

paled like the white depiction of Christ, sometimes I was cold as ice,
aimed for bodhisattva-like compassion, I’m just not that nice.

They don’t wanna hear how I tried to forgive acting like it’s all bless,
like Jesus forgave the men who put the spear in his chest.

They wanna hear the truth, we’re friends now, I wish her the best
but if I think about it now I overstand better but it still gets me vex.

The old man on his bike in the graveyard smiles like there’s a secret we share,
Like we’re two of a chosen few who knew… we’re not really there.

I’m like a bluebell on a grave, like an angel in a rave, you can help me here.
Sometimes I care so much it looks like I don’t really care.

__

Sometimes, sure, I’m bored like retired Timelords wondering why your
Average human being even bothers to rhyme for.

While your magical tools like your soundsystems and mic cords
Transport my thoughts to your heart to make you say BRRAP! Or “I’m floored.”

Bluebells on graves… angels in raves,

Letting go for forgiveness, happy to live blessed.

While your magical tools like your soundsystems and mic cords
Transport my thoughts to your heart to make you say BRRAP! Or “I’m floored.”

 

This Time Last Year

This time last year I would have described myself as depressed. I’m not now.

I’ve not been writing philosophical essays so much recently. Writing in that way for me tends to come out of introspection, often fuelled by depression. I’ve been in a good mood generally recently.
I’ve been writing more raps again. It’s easier to write fun raps when you’re in a good mood, I was writing philosophical raps, deep raps, political raps and emotional raps alot over the past two years as my soul burned through the crucibles of anxiety and depression, but fun raps were few and far between.

So, from what I can tell right now, three things in particular have helped shift my mood and focus over the past year. My relationship, the Balanced View training and a Jamie Catto workshop. (Edit: and travelling.)

(Edit: I am generally a very independent person so it is both difficult and ‘edgey’ for me to give thanks to trainings and workshops for personal development. I am proud of the personal development I have done on my own through introspection, contemplation, meditation, and relationships and not in the context of courses or contrived situations but everything flowed quite naturally this year towards these trainings and workshops in my own free time.
Shadow -> I don’t like giving other people credit for my emotional state or my wisdom but I am willing to learn humility and I have to be honest, so credit where credit is due.)

Now I’m not just happy because I’m in a relationship, I’m happy because I’m in a relationship with someone that helps me examine my shadow without being judgmental or critical. But I would not say a relationship is a good way to get out of depression, I would say acknowledging and accepting your shadow side is a good way to get out of depression, loving YOURSELF, the good and the bad, is a good way to get out of depression. It helps me to appreciate myself when someone else, someone awesome, appreciates me. So yeah, glad I’m in a relationship but a relationship is not a plaster to stick over sadness. I’m glad I’m in a relationship that has been deep, emotional and positive growth for both of us. I appreciate her, and I appreciate myself, and I appreciate the fact that she helps me to appreciate myself. Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself it’s hard to accept someone else’s love, in my experience it is best when you are partnered with someone who encourages you to look after yourself before you look after them and in my experience it is disastrous to be in a relationship where you are encouraged not to love yourself whether through subtle criticism or blatant abuse.

I must admit, I have to slightly reluctantly pay homage and give thanks to the Balanced View trainings in the nature of the mind (and reality.) Only reluctantly because I spent 8 years resisting and thinking I got it already but I have to admit it showed me things about myself I had not noticed or had hidden. So I am very grateful. I always vibed with their central teachings when I first came across it ten years ago but did not resonate with the format or the community. Alot of that was just resistance due to the fact that I generally defined myself in opposition to organisations and institutions, generally critical of organisations and institutions and couldn’t associate deep wisdom with conference rooms and projector screens. But it’s a positive institution, it’s a positive organisation and they do indeed communicate deep wisdom in conference rooms and projector screens (also in person and face to face.) What else put me off? The complete devotion of the community. I don’t know why that put me off, maybe I was screwed over by a cult in a previous life or something, but complete devotion to anything is ff-putting to me. But the members of the community seem to be happy and seem to consistently get real and practical progress in their lives and the devotion seems to be a pure and honest appreciation for the way the teaching has helped them. I continued to attend the occasional open meeting and then when I was at my lowest 2 years ago I started to attend some of their day-long and 3 day long trainings in the nature of the mind. This might have been the most useful in not being restricted by depression or anxiety, it helped me not judge my emotional state and not identify with the depression (it’s not who I am, it is simply something I am experiencing and that experience will g back t the nothing it came from whether I do anything about it or not.) It helped me normalise anxiety – everyone gets anxious, whether for a moment, a day or a month, and we all have our coping mechanisms. The less I considered them to be real things that had power over me the sooner their appearances lasted shorter and happened more infrequently. It’s not a psychological thing, and it’s not a cure for any medical condition, it’s just a perspective that opens you up to wider experiences and less restrictions. Despite my 8 years of resistance – I recommend to just about anyone.

I attended one of Jamie Catto’s workshops, entitled What About You? That’s something else I have to thank my girlfriend for, she was at least the 4th person to recommend his workshop (actually most people were recommending I do his shadow-work workshop but if I wasn’t already doing shadow stuff I never would have had the courage to ignore my anxiety and attend his motivation workshop.) Now I know I just called it a motivation workshop but I’m not sure that’s the word he would use to describe it. I will just describe what it did for me, I would describe it as a workshop that identifies my wildest dreams, grounded them in reality and then gave me both the practical and emotional tools to do it. Suffice t say I would not have done my crowdfunder if not for that workshop.

It’s all multi-dimensional and all of the above helped each other. Balanced View trainings helped me function in a relationship in ways that were more benficial for me and my partner, my partner helped raise my self esteem further and convinced me to do the Jamie Catto workshop but I might not have if I hadn’t learned through Balanced View to not be restricted by anxiety etc.

So, yeah. There are likely to be sad times in the future. And anxiety is still a frequent experience, I just rarely allow myself to be crippled by it (and try not to judge myself when I do.)

The phrase “Love yourself” has come into my lyrics more and more in the past 2 or 3 years. If anything is important (in our short lives on this tiny rock in the vastness of space), it’s important. Being loved by someone else wouldn’t matter if I didn’t love myself. Indeed even in this relationship when I was finding it hard to love myself I found it hard to believe anyone else could love me. We each hold the intelligence of the universe in a usable way, we are each an expression of mother nature, we are each highly complicated biological organism capable of love, art, and keeping our blood circulating without even having to consciously think about it, and we are all made of elements born in the centre of stars. Love yourself, you’re amazing.

There were other friends along the way and other experiences that helped put me back in cheerful mode. A big thanks to Thomas of Wildheart, and the Lost Cabaret crew as at Wildheart I found new members of my tribe and the Lost Cabaret cast provided like-minded philosophical, lovable huggers in London. Ashearon and his Quantum Shift also provided a vibe in London I didn’t think I would find. Passing Clouds (after 5 years of recommendations I finally went there in Winter 2014 and have kept going back all year.) The Hive. All my classmates and tutors on my Steiner School course as well, really supportive, lovely, lovables. Travelling across Europe with Dan and Flavio, that too was special. Making friends all over Europe, being reminded that I can go anywhere in the world and be loved for being myself. Thank you all for a year of growth, a year of looking at my shadows and learning to love them, a year of pushing some boundaries and dissolving others.

I really didn’t want to move to London in winter last year. And now I really don’t want to leave.

There are more people to thank. More moments to be grateful for. But that will do for now and apologies to anyone I happened to miss out during this train of thought.

This time last year I would have described myself as depressed. I’m not now. Thank you x

Thankyou Jamie Cattohttp://jamiecatto.com/workshops/

Thankyou Candice O’Denverhttps://www.balancedview.org/en/

 

 

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The Illusions of Space, Time and Self

So I don’t know what “I” means. I don’t know where I end and the rest of the universe begins.
Einstein said that time is an illusion. But then death and birth are simultaneous, as is the rest of life.

But if self is an illusion, and time is an illusion what are we all doing here? If our greatest scientists can’t even work out what consciousness is, what we are, where we are or when we are what are we ever arguing about ever? Nothing really matters?

Well Einstein did add the caveat that time is a very persistent illusion. Same could be said for self, politics etc. And all of that seems quite freeing from one perspective BUT it’s reality check time. Try telling someone time is an illusion when someone they love has just died. Try telling someone that self is an illusion when they lose a limb or even suffer from toothache. Try telling someone nothing really matters when they’re town is being bombed.

So there may be spiritual truths. There may be scientific truths. There may be emotional truths. They may all be true yet contradict each other. The universe may not be black and white. It might be scarier to accept that it’s grey. But it’s alot more fun to realise that it’s multi-coloured. And it’s alot more freeing to accept that we don’t know. Perhaps the only thing we ever know is what we should do right now. Perhaps we should consider ourselves lucky when we know that.

https://www.facebook.com/KP.KevthePoet/?notif_t=page_fan

 

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Artwork by Cameron Gray

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love, Death and More Love

The inevitability of death is most painful to me right now, the feeling will pass and it’s such a typical existential angst that it hardly seems worth mentioning. But it’s there at the back of my mind, that and an inability to express my love for everyone to the extent I would like to. Either because I couldn’t find the words if I tried and because it’s not socially acceptable to just tell people “I fucking love you. Like so much.” (Unless they’re your partner, in which case it’s socially acceptable but preferable in private.) And thirdly the inability to express how important I feel it is for us all to express our love for each other.

I think I express it more than most. But I want to express it more. Cos one day we’ll most likely be dead.

I love you guys n gals, I love you for letting me express myself, I love you for expressing yourselves, I love you for sharing things that may be socially unacceptable in places less safe. Spread love, we might as well.

(And to quote the Vulcan’s, “live long and prosper.”) x

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(artwork by the legend Alex Grey.)