Just an introduction from a man with no formal training but a degree of experience and a unique perspective.
I am not an expert. I have no guru, I am no guru but I have direct experience. Recently these experiences have come up a few times and I feel inspired to share.
I learned all I know about Tantra from personal experience, Sahaja Yoga, Kundalini Yoga and some very good books. There was one book in particular by an Indian Yogi my friend brought back from India that was amazing (‘Kundalini Tantra’ by Swami Saraswati Satyananda), it went into how the hormone system matches the chakra system and the biological side of conservation of sexual energy leading to explosions of creativity, spiritual energy or indeed sexual energy later. I gave that book away but I’ll find the title on Amazon. Also recommend the Chinese Taoist perspective from the author Mantak Chia. (Links for the books at the bottom of this article.)
I believe my perspective is unique because I first learned about Kundalini energy through Sahaja Yoga which awoke my kundalini before I learned that energy had anything to do with sex at all. I also believe my perspective is unique because I’m a westerner who prioritised spirituality (whatever that means) even above sex or money. It may sound like a big claim but my life is a testament to that. I have only recently pushed money up my list of priorities as there is no independent nature to spirit, sex or money – it’s all just energy.
One aspect of tantra can be compared to the way a volcano works. The longer the lava boils beneath the surface the more powerful the explosion but if you let the lava out slowly it can burn for longer.
Sexually it means the longer you focus on your partners pleasure rather than your own the longer you’ll last and the longer you last the more powerful the orgasm can be.
I’ve never been to a tantra workshop. Most Western tantra workshops seem to be all about sex but kundalini tantra is alot more than that. It’s creativity and spirit energy. I mean from personal experience I know that if I withold from orgasm, and I mean even from masturbation, I usually have an explosion of creativity and spiritual and/or philosophical revelations. But I’m human, often creativity and spiritual awareness take a backseat to the desire to orgasm. I believe this is why the universe has sometimes altered my path like the time when I shared a room with a friend for months so couldn’t masturbate while reading the aforementioned book (which advised men not ejaculating for 23 days) and then I went to a festival and met a woman who just finished a tantra workshop.
Or the two separate times (with two separate ladies) I ingasmed without cumming through hand massages. The first time was with a shiatsu masseuse who told me it was my own kundalini energy that made it happen and I should cultivate that energy. So I did.
Or when there are too many miles between one and one’s lover to explore the sexual tension physically and you notice a connection beyond the physical.
There’s nothing wrong with masturbation or even a quickie but there are things we can learn from patience and exploration.
Sex is an energetic and emotional thing as much as it is a physical and biological thing, at least in my experience.
There are times when I orgasm and keep on going without ejaculating. Apparently some people in the “tantra scene” call it an INjaculation. (I used to call it an “orgasm without the mess lol). There are times that I fully cum in the traditional way and I can still keep going. There was at least one time I was twitching in orgasmic bliss and she wasn’t even touching me. I believe that is all part of the emotional and energetic aspect of sex and the tantric ‘training’ life has given me.
And I’m not boasting. I have no discipline, I just go with the flow and although sometimes I have an injaculation and keep going sometimes both me and my partner want to reach the peak quickly.
I’m sure there are “experts” who haven’t cum for years or cause orgasms from the other side of the room. I’m not that guy. I even find most yoga boring, (apart from Kundalini Pranayama breath work, most of all that stretching does little for me, I much prefer the circular flowing movements of Chi Gung / Qi Gong). I’m really not that guy.
I don’t see any of this as boasting because I know people with more discipline who were more committed to Kundalini Yoga, I have one friend who was far more committed to Sahaja Yoga and I have one friend who is training in a medicine ceremony tradition who was advised by his shamanic teacher to abstain from sex for a year. I’m not that guy either. But on the low – it’s the sort of world that I live in.
But I am a guy that has been playing with, working with, and cultivating these energies for over ten years. So I feel I have a perspective and experience worth sharing.
This isn’t an ad either, I’m very happy with my current partner.
EDIT – To be clear. To me kundalini energy is the sexual, creative, spirit energy that can be awoken through sexual tantra. In the short term you can have better, or at least longer lasting, sex with your partner if you are patient in coming to orgasm. In the long term – and this is just in my own humble experience – you can increase the creativity and even the synchronicity in your life by abstaining from orgasm altogether for a while. And the yogis say a literal physiological and biological change can occur if you abstain for a specific number of days. I don’t know if tht only occurs while you are doing a spiritual practice like kundalini yoga because that is not my experience. I was doing Sahaja Yoga before my first sexual kundalini experiences and I was practicing kundalini yoga and Mantak Chia’s ‘microcosmic orbit’ during my these experiences.
I am no expert but that is my experience, I’m sure there are tantra workshops and sacred sexuality workshops that aren’t just “hook-ups for hippies” and I’m sure that some of my reluctance to attend workshops is merely my own anxiety. In fact the title “sacred sexuality” feels clearer and more honest and I would more likely attend that knowing the focus from the start. But in my experience life is the best teacher.
Speaking of teacher – the word ‘tantra’ simply means teaching. Tantra doesn’t have to be about sex at all, there are numerous tantras. We’ve just commercialised everything for the lowest common denominator in the west, the lowest chakras. As usual. But there is nothing wrong with that, all the chakras are part of us to be celebrated and exalted, I just appreciate balance.
If you know a teacher or you are a teacher who focusses on the energetic aspects of kundalini tantra or sexual tantra, feel free to comment. But if the focus is sex, well let’s not start an argument. I love sex, I love orgasms but I’m aiming even higher.
Kundalini Tantra: by
Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by
Healing Love Through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy by
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