Being a ‘Grown Up’

The other day I woke up feeling quite honestly that I’m not cut out for modern western society, a society that appears to pride cunning and superficiality over honour and creativity. Being a grown up often sounds like another way of saying “give up on your dreams and focus on making money.” When I was younger I didn’t want to grow up, when I was a little older I chose not to, but now I was trying to be a ‘grown up’ I was faced with the terrifying prospect that I might not even be capable.

I gave up on Western Society for a while, on a self-imposed exile from my family in London, moved to Bristol and lived on the edge in squats, vans and caravans and focussed on my creative output. I was less depressed doing that than I was doing temporary work in offices in London but eventually I fancied more money, more comfort, more warmth.

So I decided to focus on getting qualifications in an area that fosteres my creativity and values my spirituality, that could lead to me earning more money without getting depressed. However I was beginning to feel not cut out for the bureaucracy involved, that I was not cut out for being a grown up.

Filling out forms gives me anxiety, 9 out of 10 jobs give me depression. I like the job I’m training for but I don’t like the training I have to do to get it.

So I started yesterday questioning my ability to be “a grown up” but then we watched some videos by this African shaman woman Sobunfu Some talking about how initiation is supposed to teach people to follow their dreams and in tribal cultures grown ups are supposed to follow their hearts and intuitions. We are all born with gifts for the world, talents, skills, passions. These are gifts to us but they are also gifts to the planet.

In other words – do not give up on your dreams, do not give up on the things that make your spirit feel alive. Do not “grow up”, at least not in the western sense. But perhaps grow up in the tribal sense, in the shamanic sense, through initiation to find out what inspires you. Inspire. In spirit.

“The first circle of connection we have is with the spirit world….

The second circle is with our family to test our gifts we are bringing to the world. At one point the family circle is going to become to small, too confining for us….

Some of us have also come in order to break certain patterns certain rules. We have been chosen by the ancestors to do this work. So we have their backing…. Sometimes the intimacy heats up to a certain point we have to be exiled from our own family, but that exile is very symbolic of the very things the very things they are not willing to see that are aching their soul. So sometimes we need that exile to see how else can we cook that medicne to make it very enticing to them.

The third circle is the city (or village or town)…. that becomes the next welcoming land for the kind of gifts that we have tested in our family… that circle is very instrumental in making sure that they provide a bigger container, a container that is more sturdy to recieve the kind of medicine that we are bringing to the world.

The fourth circle we belong to is that of the country we belong to. The kind of legs that helps us to bridge al the prior circles. {when you leave the country} you represent that country.

Those four circles are very instrumental in us being able to be rooted on this planet. However some of us who are born with spirits that are way too big for this body to hold the the family doesn’t make sense, the city, the town, the village you come from doesn’t make sense, the country you were born into doesn’t make sense, you have to be beyond those realms, which is means basically you are naturally propelled into the role of a world citizen. So you are the child of the univierse. And that;s the only place that makes sense for you. So for any single one, or for any single country to confine you into one place is to actually kill your spirit because it does not understand what you are talking about…

...The role of a healthy community is to create a safe environment for each individual, where each individual is valued, seen, appreciated welcome, and their gifts have a place to go. The gifts that I talked about at the beginning, whether or not there is a container for them to go into or not they will have to delivered or else you will go crazy… your spirit is constantly trying to reawaken the community by giving them different signs so that they will then do the work that is required of them to enable you to be free of those gifts and to shine again, as you should be shining.“ Sobunfu Some

Short answer? Follow your heart, follow your dreams, surrender to spirit and create. Longer answer? Watch the video below… 😉