Do not worry, by the end of this article I take responsibility for myself rather than pointing the finger at bankers and politicians, “the benefit of all” becomes the focus and priority. But it starts off angry, very angry. It was initially inspired by the revelation in England MPs are to escape expenses investigations after paperwork destroyed by Parliament and House of Commons authorities have destroyed all evidence of MPs expenses’ claims prior to 2010, meaning the end of official investigations into that scandal.
I was vex (that’s caribbean slang for vexated – angry. I was extremely vexated. But as I say, inspired by Jamie Catto lectures and Balanced View talks I eventually chill out and take responsibility for my own shadow. I hope it is an inspiring, thought provoking journey and I hope that I am sharing for the benefit of all…
Remember, Remember the 5th of November 2014 – Jedis, bankers, politicians and shadow work
Your rulers are criminals. Thieves and liars. But for some reason you won’t see them on Jeremy Kyle getting told off for spending tax payers money and the BNP won’t be marching chanting about get these MPs out of our country, they’re spending tax payers money. No, the media has told you that immigrants and benefits scroungers are to blame for the financial crisis while the bankers and politicians continue to rob and steal. MPs and bankers should be arrested. I’m not pointing the finger of blame, I’m just stating that if you were following the law to the letter then bankers and MPs should be arrested. I don’t like the blame game at all to be honest, but if yer gonna point fingers at least point them in a sane direction.
You know what, it is not the fact that our politicians lie to us that makes me vibrate with anger. It is the fact that people are so easily manipulated into blaming the wrong people. Like Jeremy Kyle and the Daily Mail have ignorant bigots ready to fight asylum seekers for costing us a few million to save their lives but you don’t see them ready to fight bankers for costing a several million. In bonuses. To buy more I dunno, yachts? Islands? Bentleys? What do bankers buy? Not freedom from oppression in war-torn countries, that’s for sure.
What would make me happy though? Guillotines? Revolution? Gun-powder plots? None of the above really, peace, love and unity would make me happy. A complete overhaul of the current political system would make me happy, an overhaul so financial concerns can no longer be made more important than human rights.
But that is going to take more than changing a political party or changing a few laws, that is going to take a paradigm shift where the benefit of all is the goal of everyone, where politicians are expected to care instead of expected to lie. Where everyone is asking “how can we help each other?” Perhaps I should focus on where we should be going, but if people do not realise how fucked up the current situation is they are never going to have the motivation to change it, so no, I am not going to stop showing people how twisted, backward, selfish and inherently evil our current system is, and how our politicians are financed by corporations which have no agenda other than profit. Then, perhaps, then we can move forward to a system where the agenda is actually the benefit of all. It may sound like hippy crap but essentially isn’t every Government supposed to serve it’s citizens, but in effect, no Government does. They serve central banks and the wars and non-renewable resources that finance them.
According to some my most powerful spiritual teachers all this negativity is of great benefit. Personally some of my best music has been recorded in passionate response to these appearances, honest expression of the emotions that these perceptions create. Maybe the awkward feeling in my lower back is the feeling of my kidneys secreting the hormones I need to deal with this. Maybe I just need a massage. I have a selfish side, I have a greedy side, I have a side that is scared that it won’t have enough. Perhaps I should have more compassion for the selfish, greedy and scared aspects of these bankers and politicians. I get more angry because my shame at this side made me over-compensate in the past, running from situations that would make me money, failing to ask or demand that I get paid well for my work, refusing to accept benefits when I was entitled to. I made sacrifices and I suffered so that people would not ever call me selfish, or greedy. I lived undesirable lifestyles with career activists. People called me brave but I was always scared. A radio DJ called me a ‘local Bristol legend’ on air on a day when I didn’t know whose couch I would sleep on. Legendary status is not necessarily the same as “rich and famous” apparently. I do not think I am better than other people, that’s impossible, my self-esteem issues actually mean that some days I think I am worse even though that’s not possible either. I do not think that I am ‘more spiritual’. I am just more interested (and/or obsessed) with spirituality and in the modern western world that is basically a hindrance more than a help. This is something that I am sometimes bitter about. So these bankers and politicians have done a better job at securing a better financial future for themselves and their families? By being less afraid of being seen as greedy or being seen as selfish? I’m still afraid. I’m writing this now scared that I will be misunderstood, “everybody’s going to think this is my disclaimer for selling out”, ot “this is what Anakin says before he goes dark-side and slaughters the younglings isn’t it?” No, I am who I am, I’m not about to turn to the dark side. But I’m not about to run from it either. This is more Luke in the cave on Dagobah, you chop off the head of the Dark Lord and you see your own face. Perhaps we’d all learn more about each other if we learned more about ourselves.
Do not get me wrong. I would still like to smash things occasionally. But I have been in riots and it is in my character to want neither policemen nor the general public to get their heads kicked in. Sometimes I want the bankers and politicians to pay. But the way I want them to pay changes when I remember they are someone’s son or daughter and may be someone’s parent. I want what I think deep down we all want, I want everybody to be happy. It’s impossible, ups and downs are gonna happen. But with all the ups and downs that are inevitable it seems unnecessary that selfishness, greed and fear of lack should lead to more downs for some and more money for others.
I don’t think we necessarily have to change the hearts and minds of our politicians. I think we have to change the hearts and minds of our whole society, and inspire the next generation to change politics. But that does not mean to hand over all the responsibility. So perhaps we must all lead by example and change ourselves. And perhaps music is not such a waste of time just cos it’s not making much money, not if it’s changing hearts and minds. Perhaps I’m not the failure I sometimes tell myself I am. Now I am looking my shadow in the face. Perhaps this is an exercise that should be done in private. Perhaps sharing is part of the process of changing hearts and minds. Perhaps sharing is part of the process of facing fear of judgment. Perhaps sharing is just my preference and I am indulging in my strengths, gifts and talents. Perhaps sharing is just indulging in my ego. NOW I am looking my shadow in the face. Am I? What else is hiding under there?
I used to rebel against the system, I used to rebel against my parents. Now I want to rebel against my own pre-conceptions of what it means, or meant, to be ‘me’.
So be it. Jedi. I wish to look my shadow in the eye and forgive it. Just this once, let me see you with my own eyes.